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He got a few moments of pleasure…
And she’d gotten this.
Aching, throbbing, open wound in her belly that never fucking closed, never got clean, never—
“Mel.”
She blinked.
Realized that Teresa and Jeremy were now kissing like the newly engaged couple they were, realized she was staring but not really seeing.
Realized that it was Asher who was standing behind her and talking to her in that careful tone that did nothing to help and everything to piss her off.
So careful.
So tentative.
Everyone had tried really hard to treat her like normal.
Everyone except for Asher.
Who looked at her with guilt in his eyes and regret in his bearing and pity on his face.
It made her feel sick.
“Are you sleeping?” he asked, still gentle.
Fuck no, she wasn’t sleeping.
She hadn’t slept without nightmares, not since that night.
But she wasn’t going there. “Of course,” she said, turning from the kissing couple, but not turning enough to have to fully face him—to face the man who’d seen her broken and bloody andraped, to face the man who’d held her through her nightmares for weeks on fucking end.
Until she’d finally gotten a clear look athisface and realized what she’d been doing to him.
Destroying him slowly from the inside out.
His guilt eating at his veins, his regret gnawing at his bones, his pity straining his muscles until they’d reached their breaking point.
“I’m fine,” she said, still not meeting his eyes but glancing at his bottom lashes.
Close enough.
Close enough that no one saw the difference.
Because most people didn’t actually look each other in the eye, they just connected for quick glances before looking away.
The bottom lashes were close enough, she’d realized.
Especially, when paired with her normal, pre-rape quiet demeanor.
People didn’t look too close.
But Asher did.
He looked uncomfortably close.
His rough fingers drew along the edge of her jaw, tilting her head up, and after the assault, she didn’t allow herself to shy away—it would be too easy to never allow touch again. But with Asher it was different.
