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The phrase sounds so frightening when spoken aloud. So finite. To be fair, I’ve mostly stayed off the radar out of an abundance of caution, rather than anything else. Diego has been dead for a long, long time. In his absence, I simply forgot to resurrect myself.
“You’re right,” Pedro says, drawing me back to the present. “It’s been so damn long I forgot about that.”
“And you’re the one who got me my bank accounts and passport,” I point out. Each time I use them, I have to refresh my memory of the name, Maria something. Luckily, I rarely leave the city and get paid under the table at my bartending job.
“I’ll make arrangements and see if I can get a hold of Tiena’s shit,” Pedro suggests. “If the rumors are true, she won’t be needing it.”
“Cold, Pedro,” I scold without real anger in my voice. “She’s still my sister, dead or alive.”
“Yeah, and that’s your burden to bear. She’s the same sister who left you behind in Tijuana and made you do her dirty work just to stay under her roof. Don’t forget that she made you run shit for Braulio once upon a time.”
“I remember,” I say thickly. How could I forget the condition my sister placed on letting me stay with her, under the radar?
“As far as I’m concerned, she’s just a stranger with your face,” Pedro goes on. “Your evil twin, so to speak. You’ve been dancing around the issue, butshe’sthe real reason you’ve been forced to go to someone like Jaguar. You’re fighting harder for her damn child than she ever did. I didn’t help you forher, by the way. I did it for you. I’m sure the sex was incredible. It’s about time you lived a little.”
I should deny it, I think. Instead, I sigh.
“I have to go, Pedro, but if I call you again, the least you can do is answer the damn phone.”
“Sí,mami. Also, I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but if you start going around town claiming to be Tiena, word will get back to you know who. Braulio has ears everywhere. You’ll need protection. Make sure you whisper a desire for a bodyguard in Jaguar’s ear. I’ll do what I can on my end to give you a heads-up should I hear anything on the grapevine.”
He hangs up, but his advice lingers ominously in the air. As per usual, he has a damn point, and he’s far more used to this lifestyle than I am. Still, I decide to worry about Braulio later.
After splashing water on my face, I glance at my phone and discover a message from Pedro with an address for a boutique. I take another car service there, and roughly three hours later, I return to the apartment armed with a new dress and at least a week’s worth of designer clothing.
Pedro sure did make sure to cover all the bases. There is lingerie and several underwear sets, all more expensive than my go-to cotton pairs back in my own place. I briefly consider heading there for my own things, but decide against it.
All day, I’ve felt watched. I swear I saw the same car going to and coming from the boutique. Jaguar’s had me followed, alright. Either that or Braulio has already gotten wind of his ex-lover back from exile.
The funny part is if Tiena were to reappear, she’d pull a stunt like this. Ingratiate herself with a more powerful figure and use him to exact revenge. Then she’d probably get pregnant again and leave that child the second something better came along.
At least in that small way, I differ from her. Diego most likely ruined my chances of ever having children, though I will still take every precaution when it comes to Jaguar.
Such as heeding his deadlines.
I shower again and arrange my damp hair into a simple low bun. I select a modest red dress, eerily similar to the black one I wore last night. It might be a matter of playing it safe, or I just like the symbolism behind it. While today may be a different day, I am still involved in a dangerous dance of fate.
And I still have to earn his attention—enough to convince him to ruin Braulio for good. Or perhaps get Franco away from him. We would go into hiding together then. Pedro would have no problem procuring new documents for us both and…
What?a part of me scoffs. A happily fucking ever after? I’d outgrown fairy tale stories years ago, when life with Diego taught me the hard, bitter truth one can’t find in romance novels. In reality, love is pain. It’s a name we assign to broken, jagged emotions and the masking tape we use to obscure how bleak our lives truly are. It took me years to realize that Diego never loved me.
He merely owned me and nearly broke me.
What does Jaguar plan to do when he eventually grows bored of my presence? I can only hope he casts me aside like a gently used toy and moves on. I’d be fine with that. Then I could take Franco and finally live a better life than the one I left behind.
But that would require pleasing him in the meantime—a task I find increasingly difficult given that he never gave me a number to call or even a location to wait for him. By seven-oh-one, I risk leaving the apartment and head down to the lobby.
There, I find no one. I’m ready to write it off as a cruel exercise in being stood up when my cell phone buzzes. Only Pedro has this number, so I ignore it in favor of panicking. I even go outside, but there isn’t a car waiting. Neither do I find Jaguar scowling down at his watch.
Pedro texts me again. Then again, in quick succession. That isn’t like him. Annoyed, I fish my phone from my pocket and open the first message.
You’re late.
The number isn’t from Pedro’s main cell or his two known burners. In fact, I don’t recognize it, but the tone of the message does trigger a sense of familiarity.
Jaguar.
You should know what kind of man I am, Lupe,he added.You don’t want to waste my time.
