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“And how have I played with you, Tiena?” He sets his shot glass down hard enough that liquid spills over the rim. “Perhaps, you should explain how you sought to play withme? Strolling into my orbit as if I wouldn’t fucking recognize you as Braulio’s bitch. Aiming to fuck your way into my good graces. Concealing that you were in on that motherfucker’s little scheme from the start. Oh, please do enlighten me. Were you surprised I’m not the dumb motherfucker you seemed to think I am?”
“Yes,” I admit, my voice rasping. “I prefer men who act like animals. At least there is no coherent reason behind the abuse they inflict. Survival is their aim, not boredom. They know when to stop once their prey is already dead.”
God, do I know that firsthand. I’m crying. Tears spill down my face, and I hadn’t even realized. Only he can do this to me—a beast that conditioned me to live my entire life relying on fear. Avoiding the nuances in his moods that shifted like the wind. Jaguar is far more dangerous, but he doesn’t frighten me half as much as even the mere memory of Diego does.
Jaguar has used my body as his plaything, but Diego? He got inside my head. Inside my very soul. My entire being was his toy. It still is.
“Just tell me now.” I can’t look at Jaguar any longer, turning my gaze to the floor. “You’ve been working with him all this time. It’s why you used the cage. It’s why you…”
I was so stupid not to see the parallels before. So stupid.
“Where is he?” I ask, but my voice breaks into a hysterical bubble of laughter. Of course, he won’t step from the shadows on cue like some TV villain. Diego was always far more nuanced than that. When he would disappear on me for days at a time, he would only resurface when provoked. When I broke one of his rules for even a second. When I dared to hope he’d grown tired of me for good.
I know what will draw him out now.
I spy the view of the pool through partially-opened glass doors. A balcony extends over it, and I’m sure his entire posse is gathered around to watch this display. Jaguar will bluff about killing me tonight, but he won’t. That’s why I’ve made it this long in one piece.
Diego always gets his prize in the end. Always.
“I don’t think our conversation is over, Lupe,” I hear Jaguar growl.
I ignore him.
Running gives me a fast enough start to race through the terrace doors and vault over the railing without slowing. The speed propels me over the barrier, and then it’s a terrifying freefall.
These moments used to be the only times I found comfort. When I had the faintest hope of finally, finally ending my torment in the one way Diego couldn’t circumvent. He always did in the end, though. Even death wasn’t strong enough to keep me from him.
Sooner or later, reality—like gravity—would kick in.
Wham!I hit resistance so hard that the air is knocked from my lungs. Stars dance across my vision, and then everything goes black…
For a heartbeat.
The next, I’m weightless, surrounded by blissful, freezing darkness. I linger for as long as I can stand it. Resurfacing feels like an unsurmountable chore, and I consider never doing so. Staying down here until my lungs explode. Letting death finally take me once and for all.
As if it would be so easy.
When my lungs scream for air too badly to ignore, I kick toward the surface of the pool and gulp for breath. With my eyes burning and blurry, I hunt for him. He should appear now as he always did, pleased by my display. I played his favorite game, and he doesn’t disappoint.
Then it happens. Clapping slowly, he appears at the edge of the pool, but wait…
He’s too tall, too bulky. Those eyes aren’t right either, a dark, haunting brown instead of green.
“A beautiful display, chica,” Jaguar says in a tone too cold to be praise. “If you were aiming to kill yourself, it seems you missed—”
“No.” I don’t recognize the voice that rings out, or perhaps I don’t want to. It belongs to a nightmare of a woman I’ve spent the past decade trying to forget. The creature Diego made of me, his Pita. “I want him. Where is he? Where is he? I know he’s here, right? He has to be. Tell him I’m ready for him. So where is he?”
I glance around the pool, waiting for Diego. His smile. That knowing tilt to his head when I’ve done something he likes. That low, unsettling rasp of his voice.
Diego.
Diego…
“Braulio isn’t here, chica. I hate to disappoint you.”
“Stop lying to me! I was stupid enough to think that you were different than them, but you’re not, are you? You have no honor. You’re a pig like the rest—”
“Your spicy tongue, I don’t mind. But insults? Oh no, Lupe. That I won’t tolerate.” Jaguar sheds his shirt and jumps into the pool before I can react. With a swift few strokes, he’s before me.
