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Lila took a few steps closer. “Your Royal Highness, if I may—”
“Lila, really...you may not,” she said wearily. She meant to turn back to the window but Lila shook her head.
“That’s not going to work, I’m afraid.”
“Pardon?”
“The petulance.”
“Excuse me?” Justine was astounded that Lila would accuse her of it.
“The pet—”
“I heard you, Lady Aleksander. But I can’t believe you’re speaking to me in that manner.”
“Hmm. Neither can I, really, but I think someone has to. You’re very good at glowering at me, ma’am, but you rarely say what you feel.”
Justine was astonished that someone would speak to her like this, astonished that Lila had pointed out what she knew was true about herself. So astonished she could not think of what to say.
“When will you learn to speak? To say what you want?”
Justine was even more flabbergasted—Lila Aleksander had no right to speak to her like this. “Ihavesaid what I want, but perhaps you weren’t listening, madam. I have very clearly said I don’t want any of the gentlemen you’ve subjected me to.”
“Yes, you have been very clear about what you don’t want. But you won’t tell me what or who youdowant. What youtrulywant.”
What Justine truly wanted was on the tip of her tongue, and yet, she couldn’t say it. She needed to think, to sort things out in her mind.
“I have an entire ledger full of young gentlemen. If only you’d give me some indication of what you would like, I could help you.”
Oh, but she didn’t need Lila’s ledger. She knew precisely who. But even if there wasn’t the awful rumor, there was the matter of the Hamilton debts. She could hear her mother now, rejecting the idea for that reason alone before Justine could even voice it.
“I am sure you know you can’t return to St. Edys without choosingsomeone. Because if you don’t decide, it will be decided for you the moment you set foot in the palace. No one will wait for the right gentleman to come along, ma’am. Their interests will be driven by the throne.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” she said stiffly. “I am fully aware of my fate.”
“Are you?” Lila pressed. “Are you aware of what it’s like to spend all of eternity with someone you don’t love, much less like? Are you aware of how hard it will be to rule while you are having to tiptoe around a disgruntled husband? Or how terribly difficult it will be to bear children when you cannot stand for him to touch you? You are going to be in a position that very few women have been in, and right now, at this moment in your life, you have the opportunity to find a helpmate, and not a hindrance. But you must speak up, Your Royal Highness, and when you do, I will help you with everything I have. But if you don’t, well... I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Robuchard has already convinced your parents of his choice for you.”
Justine sat heavily on the chaise Amelia had vacated. Lila held her ground, staring at Justine. “Will you notspeak?”
Justine bristled. “I have much to think about. Will you please leave me now?”
Lila looked as if she wanted to argue. But she clamped her jaw tightly and turned away, walking out of the room and leaving Justine to wrestle with her private demons.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
WILLIAMRECEIVEDALETTER, a message and a telegraph all in one day.
“It would appear the world conspires against me, Ewan.”
“Pardon, milord?” Ewan dumped more hot water into William’s bath.
“Never mind.” The message looked the least ominous, so he started there. It was from Beck.
Come round tomorrow evening and have a look at the American. We’ve invited him to dine. Half past seven for wine.
Of course he was going to get a look at the American. He already distrusted the fellow on principle alone and when he met him, he’d find all the reasons to despise him. “Reply to Lord Iddesleigh that I should be happy to dine tomorrow evening. What have I to wear to supper to meet an American?”
“Shall I present you some options, milord?” Ewan asked with the slightest twinge of mockery as he went out.
