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“I have no intention of attending a bloody supper party so that I can remark on the weather and the crops for an interminable time.”
“But you must,” Miles said. “Carhill will be inclined to believe me a suitable match for his daughter if I come in the company of a duke. You know how these fathers are—they must see the connections andfeelthe connections if a man is to have a chance with his daughter. You, sir, give me the standing I need.”
“My presence doesn’t help you, Miles—have you forgotten that everyone thinks I’m mad?”
“Everyone doesnotthink you’re mad.Ido. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if Iddesleigh thinks it as well. Nevertheless, Mr. Carhill has not yet been exposed to your current state of mind, so we have a bit of time before he forms an unfavorable opinion of you.” He smiled and handed the invitation to Butler. “Please send our warmest regards and affirmation that we will attend.”
“Wait just a bloody minute,” Joshua said, but his rotten butler had already turned and walked crisply from the room. The dogs trotted along behind him, as if they suspected Butler would lead them to a bone or two. Would no one consider his wishes?
He glowered at his oldest friend. “You have to stop this, Miles.”
“Stop what?”
“Managing my life. Directing my servants. Receiving your post here and freshening my bloody wardrobe.”
“You want me to stop so that you can continue to wallow in misery?”
“I lost a wife and a child!”
“You lost them two years ago, Joshua. Two years you’ve sat in sorrow, and with a life yet to live. I will say what no one else will say to you, because I love you as a brother—you are wearing their deaths like a shield. I don’t know if you even realize how thoroughly you’ve settled into this melancholia, but as your friend, I will do whatever I can to see you out of it.”
“I’ve not settled into melancholia. I happen to be planning a trip to the Province of Canada.” He wasn’t planning such a trip,per se,but the thought had just occurred to him.
Miles looked confused. “Canada?”
“Canada.”
“Why?”
“To hunt. Bears. They have bears there.”
All right, he didn’t know what all was in the province, and he’d never given a single thought to hunting bears. But he’d recently read a travel journal by a gentleman who had traversed a great bit of the Canadian province, andhe’ddescribed the bears. It seemed exciting. It seemed remote. It seemed perfect for someone who wanted nothing but his dogs and cat and to be left alone.
He expected a lecture from Miles, but instead, his friend’s face was filling with glee. He could hardly contain himself. And then he couldn’t—he burst out laughing. “You’re not going to huntbears,Joshua. Bloody hell—”
“I can’t do this anymore, Miles!” Joshua suddenly surged to his feet. He was embarrassed—he knew he sounded ridiculous. He dragged his fingers across his scalp. But how did one admit he didn’t know what to do with himself?
“You can’t do what?Mope?Brilliant—you are agreeing with me, then.”
“I am talking about this,” he said, casting his arm around the study. “I can’t be a duke. I can’t be expected to produce an heir. I can’t attend balls and supper parties and pretend that I’m perfectly at ease in this house and in this life.”
Miles’s expression softened. “You might be perfectly at ease if you would just live your life. You might find another love, someone with whom you could bring an heir into the world. But you won’t even try, Joshua. You rarely leave this house. You roam the countryside at night—”
“Who told you that?”
“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you can’t continue like this. You, of all people, have the best reason to dine with your neighbors. Because if you don’t start to live again, you’ll die. And I, for one, will not idly stand by and watch it.” He turned and walked out the door, done with the conversation. Miles was at least as headstrong as Joshua.
Joshua stared glumly at Artemis, who stared back, unimpressed. He reached out to pet him, but Artemis hissed and batted his hand away, then jumped gracefully from the desk and walked out after Miles, his tail high in the air.
Even his cat was against him.
Joshua went to the window and opened the drapes. Then the blinds. He stared out at the wet, dreary day. He thought again of the dance with Princess Amelia. Mostly, he thought of the way she’d felt in his arms. So damnably soft. And her hair, that mix of gold and cream and white. He thought of the things she said, of the way she spoke with such truth. He thought of that kiss and felt his blood stirring all over again. He sighed, pressed a hand against the frame of the window, hoping the pressure would push his desire back into its coffin.
Who was she considering as a match? Which opportunist would pursue her? She might come with a royal title and wealth, and she was comely...but that woman clearly had a mind of her own. Some men found that disconcerting. Usually the peacocks.
Personally, he liked that about her.
But he didn’tlikeher.
