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“Pardon?”
She winced slightly. “That must sound mad. It’s difficult to explain, but I... I need something to hope for. A means to making my life meaningful in some way. And if I don’t find purpose, there’s nothing for me—I’m nothing more than an ornament. And the abbey...it would be such a wonderful thing to benefit my sex.” She looked at him. “I could be of use.Realuse.”
“In what way?”
She smiled. “To start, I know a lot about girls. And I know scads of wealthy people who could become patrons of the school. All I need is the chance to prove it.”
He could imagine her persuading monarchs and aristocrats to contribute to the school. She would be charming and beautiful, and they’d not be able to resist.
“Where are you going?”
“What?” He’d lost his train of thought.
She fixed her clear-eyed gaze on him. “You said you were leaving.”
“Ah.” He sipped his whisky and constructed his truth, whatever it was at that particular moment. And the truth was, he didn’t really know. “I’ve not yet decided. The Province of Canada, perhaps.”
“Canada? It’s a wild territory, isn’t it?”
“Parts, yes.” He hardly knew himself. “I think I’ll start in Toronto and carry on from there.” Or rather, he thought that in this moment. Who knew what he’d think tomorrow? His mind was careening all over the place.
She munched her biscuit, eyeing him. “But why there, if I may? It seems awfully far to go just to be away.”
“Just to be away?”
“From Hollyfield and the memories here? Isn’t that what you intend?”
It still astounded him that someone who was not part of his family could so directly question him. Miles did, of course, but Miles considered himself family and believed he deserved answers. Not even his mother could broach her son’s feelings on the death of his wife. Which was why, probably, he didn’t have a very good answer at the ready when he was asked why he was leaving. It wasn’t clear even to him. But whatwasclear to him was that he didn’t need to be away from Hollyfield as much as he needed to walk headlong into his misery.
He said simply, “I have noticed, Highness, that you have no qualms about mentioning the death of my wife.”
“Oh.” She blinked. “I apologize. I—I don’t mind when someone mentions the death of my father. I’m rather relieved they remember him.”
“It’s a bit different for me. In answer to your question, I am leaving because I feel restless here. That’s it, nothing deeper than that.”
“I know that feeling well,” she said. “That’s the reason I’m in England you know—I was too restless in Wesloria. Or rather, I was bored, and when I’m bored, I have a tendency to do things that are not in my best interests.” She paused and looked at him sidelong. “According to the rules of my family, that is. Not necessarily according to mine.”
What didthatmean?
She didn’t explain further, but finished her biscuit. He couldn’t help his gaze meandering to his lawn shirt she wore, visible through the open coat. He imagined he could see her breasts through the fabric.
Another unwelcome thought to give him a bit of a start. He forced his attention to the flames. Honestly, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d thought of breasts, or touching them, but they were suddenly looming in his mind. Big ones, small ones, pert ones, soft ones, white ones, brown ones.
Bloody hell,he could hardly sit here with her and think of breasts.
He had to focus on conversation. Something. “Perhaps your boredom will be eased once you’ve finished your search for the perfect companion?” he blurted.
She laughed. “I never said I was searching for the perfect companion.”
Wasn’t that everyone’s search in the end? “Are you not?”
“That would be lovely, but I really don’t have the luxury.” She reached for another biscuit. “Because I am my sister’s heir at present, and a daughter of Wesloria, my companion must be acceptable to Wesloria.”
He knew that was true. Even in his small corner of the world, marriages were made for advantage. “Have you had any luck with your search?”
“It’s going about as well as one could expect.”
An interesting answer that made him all the more curious. “What didyouexpect, if I may?”
