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“I’ll give it a try,” Alice said. “Though I prefer not to cook with animal flesh.”
“It’s only poultry. Pluck that chicken, Alice. Bring him to his knees. He’ll be your devoted love servant within days.”
Alice frowned. “I don’t want him to fall in love with me.”
“Oh, of course not, darling,” Aunt Sarah reassured her. “Of course not. We wouldn’t want that. My strategy will merely assist you with maintaining control of the situation.”
Alice studied her aunt’s face for a moment.
Aunt Sarah spread her bejeweled hands. “Trust me, darling. I’ve never known it to fail.”
The waiting footman gathered their parcels and they began the journey home.
“Now then, I’ll return you straight to Lord Hatherly so your mother won’t have anything to say about my methods.” She winked. “It will be our little secret.”
“I wish I’d defied my father and mother and come to visit you before now, Aunt Sarah,” said Alice.
“Aren’t I fun, dear?” Aunt Sarah said with a naughty smile. “You’re a grand lady now. You may do as you please. Why should you listen to your pompous old father anymore? I never listened to my brother a day in my life. Why don’t you come and see me again soon? I expect a full report.”
Alice smiled. “I’d like that.”
Before Aunt Sarah’s carriage left Alice outside of Sunderland House, she stuck her head out the window. “Oh, and one more thing, darling. You must compliment his tool. Whether it’s long or short, squat or thin as a taper, a man believes his prick to be womankind’s greatest gift, and you must never disillusion him of his fragile convictions...”
Her instructions faded away as the carriage wheels jolted into motion, leaving Alice blushing on the front steps. Gracious. What had she agreed to?
Instead of running away, she’d purchased armor. But even though her mother and Aunt Sarah had the wrong idea about Hatherly’s absence last evening, Alice could use their methods to maintain dominion over her heart and continue with her love lessons as planned.
Mr. March eyed her parcels with displeasure when he finally appeared to assist her. “Moving in to stay, are we? We’ll see about that.”
“Where’s Kali?” she asked, ignoring his surly greeting.
“With Gertrude. I told her she should pester someone her own size, but she does love terrorizing that old lion.”
Alice grinned. Despite his perpetually dismal humor, she rather thought March had a soft spot for Kali.
“Put those parcels in my room, March, and then meet me in the kitchens.”
“The kitchens?” March gaped at her.
“That’s right. And bring Bill with you. And wash your hands first, if you please.”
It was time to prepare phase two of Aunt Sarah’s plan.
Nick rarely slept alone, so where were the warm, womanly curves nestled by his side?
He lifted the velvet counterpane.
No upside-down-heart-shaped bum, either. No half ellipse of a waist.
Everything came flooding back.
He was sleeping alone right now because he’d made his wife angry.
Badly done, that. Why hadn’t he simply told her the truth earlier?
They must share Sunderland for the next weeks, and he’d been hoping she’d share his bed as well.
Nick rubbed sleep from his eyes.
