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“I don’t know what changed his mind. He went to Paris and the Duke of Ravenwood was there, and Uncle Malcolm came back changed. He told me I could have a Season. But when I arrived in London, my great-aunt pronounced me unfit for polite society, and she embarked on a series of etiquette lessons.”
“The ball where I met you was your first appearance.”
“Yes. I had finally arrived. I was going to make the most of it, taste it fully, drink it down. Wear red silk dresses, drink brandy, and face danger head on. And then tonight when I came home from Vauxhall, Uncle Malcolm told me I had to go back to Sutton Hall immediately. I just couldn’t. There was only one circumstance that I knew would break his hold over my life. Becoming engaged to a gentleman of his choosing. Namely, you.”
She surprised him, disarmed him and the thin ice was dangerous.
He needed his routine back. He wanted to know precisely what everyone would say and do at precisely what time.
Predictability. Routine. She was the opposite of that. It was as if she’d set herself on a direct collision course intended to knock him completely off his axis and into a state of chaos from which he might never return.
He had to regain control over his life. She was a girl who courted danger, lived for adventure.
She was everything he shouldn’t want. And yet he was dying to take her in his arms. Kiss away her sadness.
That was the problem. She made himfeel.
Feelings were dangerous. Emotions were quicksand.
Unreliable, shifting ground that sucked a man down into madness.
“A gentleman of his choosing,” Drew repeated. “He thinks I’m some paragon of gentlemanly virtues, when I can’t stop kissing you every chance I get. That has to end, Mina. Especially now that you’re coming to live under my roof. Your uncle would never forgive me if any harm came to you under my watch. You’re under my protection now and I take that very seriously, no matter how brief my tour of duty.”
“I’m not your duty. I’m temporarily under your protection, but don’t worry, I can take care of myself.” She patted her reticule. “Don’t trouble yourself, I’ll make certain that this episode doesn’t impede your ability to find the perfect, sensible, retiring duchess to provide you with an immediate heir and a spare.”
She averted her eyes, staring at her feet. “I’m utterly replaceable, remember?” There was a dull tone to her voice that wrung regret from his heart.
“You’re not, Mina.” He lifted her chin with his forefinger. “I didn’t know you when I said those words.”
Damn, she was beautiful. Eyes that belonged to the nighttime. Hair that glowed like lamplight. That lush lower lip the shape and color of a fallen rose petal. He wanted to envelop her in his arms. Crush her lips to his and kiss away her doubt.
The curve of her lips. The taste of her on his lips, like the Burgundy wine. Ripe berries and cinnamon. Sweet and hot.
Warm leather of a saddle after a hard ride.
He wanted to tell her that she was everything he desired, and that he would die to protect her.
“But conventional and replaceable is what you want,” she whispered.
Not anymore, his heart insisted loudly. But he had to repeat the lie to himself until he believed it again. He couldn’t give her the love she craved.
If he allowed her inside his heart, all of his painstakingly erected walls would come crashing down, leaving him vulnerable and lost in the darkness.
“Why, MissPenny,” said Beatrice when they arrived. “I thought Drew was returning your shawl, not returning with you.”
“MissPenny’s great-aunt is taken poorly,” Drew said. “So you, dear sister, decided to invite her to stay with you and Mother for the remainder of the Season.”
“Oh?” His sister’s eyebrows winged. “Oh. To be sure. I’ll inform Mama first thing tomorrow morning. Mina, you can have the guest chamber next to mine.”
“Thank you,” Mina said, smiling at Beatrice.
Beatrice grinned at Drew. She thought he was in love with Mina. Which he wasn’t.
It was complicated.
“It’s nothing serious with your great-aunt, I hope?” Beatrice asked.
“Only megrims, but she’ll be confined to her chambers with a maid to tend her and the doctor has prescribed absolute quiet and solitude.”
