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“Perhaps not, considering you were all but engaged,” he said, hating that she would blame herself.
“But I knew what he wanted, you see. And I went along because I was curious. I wanted . . . to see if I would like it.”
It took Royal a moment to answer. “You obviously had doubts.”
“Yes. We’d barely even kissed.”
Royal couldn’t help rememberingtheirfirst kiss. It had been fleeting but memorable, and her response had never been in doubt.
“None of that is unreasonable,” he said. “After all, you were considering spending your life with the man. It’s quite sensible, when you think about it.”
She gave him a tentative smile. “I thought so.” Then her mouth puckered up in a grimace. “But he used it against me. When I asked him to stop, he told me to stop playing the innocent. He said I wanted exactly what he did.”
Anger crashed through Royal, swift and hot. His hands ached with the need to wrap them around Cringlewood’s throat.
Someday. Soon.
Royal forced himself to focus on Ainsley, who was composed but very pale. This wasn’t about him. It was about her, and how he could help her. “You don’t have to tell me anything else, lass. I understand.”
“No, I need you to know what happened. And I’m almost finished, anyway.”
“Do you mind if I hold your hand while you tell me?” he quietly asked. “Please say no, if you don’t.”
She seemed startled for a moment, but then nodded. “I would like that very much.”
When her slender fingers were secured within his, she continued in a tone akin to a grim but steady march. “He took me to a gazebo by the lake, some distance from the manor. It was all right, at first, but after a while I told him I wasn’t comfortable and I wanted to return to the house. When he wouldn’t stop, I had to give him a shove.” Her smile briefly flashed. “A hard one.”
His gut twisted with both dismay and admiration. She was so damn brave, fighting off a predator so much bigger and stronger than she. “What did he do then?”
She paused for a moment. “He backhanded me. Quite forcefully.”
The world seemed to tilt on its axis, and Royal had to struggle for a few seconds to get it back to the proper angle. But nothing would ever be truly right until Cringlewood was punished for what he’d done to her.
“I’m sorry, Ainsley. I’m so goddamned sorry.”
“I know.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, it was over rather quickly after that. He pushed me down onto the daybed and . . . and did it. It was horrible, of course, but I was so stunned I could barely react. It seemed unreal, somehow.” Frowning, she stared down at their joined hands. “I remember listening to the birds. They were madly tweeting away, and the sun was shining through the leaves and the lake was glittering like diamonds. It was a perfect summer day. How could something so ugly be happening when the world was so beautiful?”
Royal felt like he was dying inside. “I’d kill him for you, if I could.”
Someday I will.
She actually flashed a wry smile. “Oh, you’d have to wait in line behind me and Aunt Margaret. We’ve come up with several gruesome scenarios. I suppose it makes me an awful person for finding comfort in the notion.”
“It makes you the smartest, bravest lass I’ve ever met.”
Her smile disappeared like a will-o’-the-wisp. “Not so smart that I went off with him in the first place. I suppose in his mind, I gave him permission.”
“Cringlewood is a right bastard who deserves a bullet through the brain,” Royal gritted out. “The fault was entirely his, not yours.”
“My mother didn’t think so.”
“You told your mother?”
“Yes. Afterward, Cringlewood helped me straighten my clothes, and then he escorted me back to the house, as if everything was fine. He talked about plans for our wedding and how happy he was that matters were finally settled.”
“He thought he’d taken away your choice in the matter.”
Her gaze skated off to the small coal fire. “Yes.”
