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“Thank you. I think.”
“Sorry,” she said. “I suppose that rather sounded like I was talking about my pet pug, didn’t it?”
He frowned. “Do you have a pet pug?”
“Heavens, no.”
“Good, because the terriers would tear it apart.”
“Oh, I forgot about them,” she said.
“In any case, this isn’t about the dogs. It’s about how you feel aboutme. If we have any chance of making a marriage work—”
“Does that mean you’ll do it?” She clutched his hand with both of hers.
When he flushed under his tan, she realized she’d placed his hand firmly against her breast. With a weak smile, she let go and began awkwardly fussing with the collar of her gown.
Royal looked regretful. Then he cleared his throat and got rather brisk. “I will never abandon you, Ainsley, but I would be grateful to know how you actually feel about me, as a husband, that is.”
She struggled to find the words to explain, desperate not to hurt him. “You must understand that most days I don’t even know how I feel aboutmyself. I’m a mess, if you want to know the truth.”
“You’re too hard on yourself, sweetheart,” he said softly.
“Perhaps. But there are some things I do know. I know that I love my daughter and I want to be with her. And I know that I trust you and feel safe with you. You’re the only person in my life who makes me feel that way. When I’m with you, it’s like I’m myself again. Although perhaps not quite as selfish and pigheaded,” she finished ruefully.
“You were never really selfish, love. Just a little spoiled.”
“But certainly pigheaded.”
“That’s why we’re so well matched,” he said in a light tone. Even though they were over the heavy bit, he was still trying to clear the way for her. And that was so like him too.
She pressed her fingers into the fine wool of his coat. “Royal, I know I’m a bad bargain, but please believe me when I say there’s no one else I would rather be with than you. You are the best man I’ve ever met. After all, I gave you the most precious thing in my life. Would I have done so if I didn’t believe in you?”
“I suppose not,” he said gruffly.
“I didn’t ask you to love and protect Tira because it was convenient for me. I did it because it was the only thing in my life that made sense.”
“You honored me in doing so. But you must be sure about marriage, Ainsley. Once you make this decision, there is no going back.”
“I’ve done little else these last five months but think about you and Tira, and how much I want to be with you. Both of you,” she emphasized. “Truly, I’d swear an oath to that effect, if it would help. Surely there must be some demented Highland ceremony where we would cut our wrists, mingle our blood, and then twirl around half-naked in the moonlight.”
His lips twitched. “Well, I’d very much like to see you dancing half-naked in the moonlight.”
“It would only work if we both did it.”
“As intriguing as it sounds, I’m no dancer, so we’ll have to be satisfied with a simple church wedding.”
Her insides jumped. “So, you’ll do it?”
“Aye.”
While her legs went shaky with relief, she somehow managed to muster a scowl. “Royal Kendrick, I just poured my heart out, and all you can do is say aye?”
“Ainsley, I’ve been nursing a hopeless passion for you—with the emphasis on hopeless—for well on two years, and now we’re finally to be wed. If I get any more emotional, I’ll have to ring for smelling salts.”
She choked out a laugh. “As your grandfather would say, you are a complete jinglebrains.”
As usual, when feeling emotional they both took refuge in silly jests and mild—or not so mild—insults. It was easier that way, and sometimes safer.
