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“With one notable lapse,” she couldn’t help adding.
Logan looked a trifle annoyed. “And could we not rehashthatincident, please?”
She gave him a sweet smile. “Sorry. It just slipped out.”
“Ye canna be blamed for being annoyed, lass,” Angus said. “Logan was a chowderhead that night.”
“Indeed,” Alasdair dryly agreed. “Which simply reinforces my point. Donella cannot be subjected to gossip about the sincerity of Logan’s intentions.”
“And what aboutmyintentions?” she asked. “Does that merit any discussion, or am I expected to meekly sit here while you men decide what happens to my life? What happened to not letting anyone pester me?”
Both Logan and Alasdair had the grace to look embarrassed.
Angus, however, gave her an approving grin. “That’s the spirit, lass. Dinna let them push ye aboot.”
“I didn’t mean to cut you out of the discussion,” Logan regretfully said, “and I’m sure Alec didn’t, either. Whatyouwant means more to me than anything else.”
Her ire subsided a bit. “Thank you.” She glanced at her cousin. “And you?”
“I want you to be happy, Cousin,” he said gently. “I always have, which I think you know.”
“I do know that, but I rather feel like I’ve lost control of the circumstances.” Starting with the day she’d been kicked out of the convent.
“That’s because the circumstances are running ahead of us,” Alasdair said. “Last night was a perfect example, apart from the gossip about you and your mother. From what Edie tells me, some of the servants caught a glimpse of you after you, er, left the library.”
Stormed out, more like it, and she’d promptly run into a footman and then two housemaids. To say she hadn’t been looking her best was an understatement.
“Och, that’s nae good,” Angus said. “Servants love to gossip.”
“As do other people whose names I will refrain from mentioning,” Logan commented.
Angus curled a lip but didn’t deny the accusation.
“Donella, I will support whatever decision you make,” Alasdair said. “That includes joining a convent, if that’s what you truly want.”
“Now, hang on—” Logan indignantly started.
Alasdair held up a hand to interrupt. “But you need to think about the rest of us when making that decision—not just our family, but Logan and the Kendricks, too.” He leaned forward, earnestly meeting her gaze. “We all love you, lass, every last one of us. And weallwant you in our life. You’re not an outsider, no matter what you might think. You’re one of us.”
For so long, the bonds of family obligation had chained her and Alasdair together—the ones neither had ever asked for, and the ones that had generated friction and resentment. Now, she saw love and loyalty in him, the kind that family gave family, without question.
Logan took her other hand and turned her to face him.
“Donella, if your true desire is to join a convent,Iwill cease pestering you,” he said in a somber tone. “But you need to tell me straight out.”
She rolled her lips inward, holding back words that longed to burst forth. Words likeI love you,but there are things you should know about me.
“Love, you can tell me anything, and I will never judge you.” Logan shook his head. “As if I have the right to judge anyone, much less the kind, bonny lass you are.”
Oh, Lord, he was making her feel like a guilty, miserable coward. She could live with the guilt. But feeling like a coward, afraid to live her own life? No.
“I do not want to enter a convent,” she said. “I want to stay here, with all of you.”
“Including me, I’m assuming,” Logan said.
While he didn’t voice it as a question, she caught the uncertainty.
Donella squeezed his hands. “Yes. It just happened so fast, it’s rather unnerving.”
