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“I wasn’t looking to fall in love, or throw Alasdair over,” she said. “I simply wanted a little . . .”
“Attention?” he gently finished.
She nodded, feeling stupid and humiliated.
“And Roddy was happy to give it to you.”
“It sounds awful when you put it that way.”
He grimaced. “I didn’t mean it to.”
Donella waved a hand. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll just finish, shall I?”
She described how Roddy had quickly become smitten with her, ignoring the other girls to follow her about like a puppy dog. Because she’d been hurt and embarrassed by Alasdair’s desertion and the resulting gossip, she’d let him.
“It was the first time in ages that anyone had made me feel special. And it didn’t hurt that all the other girls were jealous.” She managed a smile. “That had never happened.”
It had also led to her downfall. Annoyed that Roddy had singled Donella out, some of the other girls had made her the target of mean-spirited jests. They’d joked that Alasdair would rather run away than marry her, the most boring girl in Scotland. According to them, Roddy simply felt sorry for her.
So when Roddy found her later, crying her eyes out, he’d sworn up and down to take his vengeance on everyone who’d insulted her. He’d pledged his undying love and claimed he’d do anything to win her hand, including facing down the wrath of Lord Riddick and the entire Haddon clan.
“He was ready to go to my uncle right then and there,” she said. “Naturally I panicked. So I dragged him off to one of the barns to . . . to calm him down.”
“That’s one way to describe it,” Logan said.
“Well, it worked,” she replied, annoyed that he’d gone back to scowling at her.
“Apparently a little too well.”
Part of her wanted to whack him with her reticule, but the other part acknowledged the truth of his words. As she’d lain with Roddy in a scratchy pile of hay, she’d been horrified by her actions. She’d betrayed her family, and she’d betrayed Alasdair. More importantly, she’d betrayed herself by using a sweet young man who’d wanted nothing more than to love her.
“I tried to swear him to secrecy,” she said. “I told him I could never renege on my vows to Alasdair. So, when he insisted on going to my uncle to ask for my hand, I said I would deny the whole thing.”
“Then he should have kept his bloody mouth shut.” Donella shot him a startled look. “He was only trying to do the right thing.”
Logan scoffed. “He wasn’t interested in what you wanted, Donella. He was only interested in what he wanted.”
“I . . . I never thought about it that way before.”
“It’s time you did.”
She took several moments to do just that. “Thank you,” she finally said.
“We all do silly things when we’re young, lass. No need to keep punishing yourself.”
“I did punish myself for a long time,” she confessed. “Especially since it all turned out so horribly.”
“Mungo went to Riddick and demanded you marry his poor, dishonored son, I take it.”
“Needless to say, it was quite the kick-up.” She wrinkled her nose. “I did feel quite awful about Roddy.”
“Don’t. He should have kept his mouth shut. Does anyone in your family know the truth?”
“Only Uncle Riddick, and he swore me to secrecy. He said it was the only way to prevent a clan feud and preserve the family’s honor.”
“At your expense,” Logan said in a hard voice.
“It was my mistake, and it hurt the entire family, especially Alasdair.”
