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“Why, lass? We’re good friends, are we not?”
Donella sighed. “I’m embarrassed.”
“Because of that nonsense with Roddy Murray?” He shook his head. “It’s ancient history, my dear. Besides, I’d abandoned you, like the stupid, selfish prat that I was.”
“Your actions were understandable. I don’t blame you anymore.”
He scrunched up one side of his face in a comical grimace. “Maybe just a wee bit?”
She reluctantly laughed. “All right, maybe just a bit, but that was still no excuse. I’d made a solemn vow, and I broke it.” She shook her head. “With Roddy Murray. What in God’s name was I thinking?”
“That he was a good-looking and braw fellow who paid attention to you?”
“That’s still no excuse.”
“Donella, you were lonely and hurt. That was my fault, not yours.”
His gray gaze was so warm with sympathy and understanding that it made her chest hurt. “It was wrong, though. And I’m ashamed to have betrayed your trust. Betrayed my entire family’s trust.”
Alasdair snorted. “You didn’t betray me, lass. What do you think I was doing all those years I was away from home?”
“Not living with any great degree of chastity, from what I understand.”
He blinked. “Who told you?”
“Logan. He said I shouldn’t feel guilty, because you were certainly not faithful to me.”
“Bastard,” Alasdair muttered. “But he was right. I was a young man away from home for the first time, and I was not very good at resisting temptation.”
“I won’t tell Edie,” she said with a wry smile.
“She already knows, and thankfully doesn’t hold it against me.” He leaned forward and took her hand. “You’ve not wronged me in any way, lass, nor the rest of the family. So if any of that convent business was about atoning for sins against us, you must get that out of your head once and for all.”
Donella was about to utter an automatic denial before stopping herself. It was time for truth telling, for all of them.
“I truly did think the convent was the right choice for me,” she said. “I was never very good in the world, you see, and I thought I would be a happier and better person with the sisters.”
“Still, maybe there was just a bit of atoning for all those imaginary sins?”
She held her thumb and forefinger an inch apart.
“Especially after your mother fell ill,” he added.
Alasdair meant after Mamma had tried to murder him.
“Yes,” she said.
“No one blamed you for wanting to get away from that mess. It was difficult and distressing, especially for you and Fergus.”
“But I ran away, leaving the rest of you to deal with it. I’ve been a coward for much too long, Alasdair. It’s time I stopped running.”
He let go of her hand and crossed his arms again. “Does that also include running away from Logan?”
“It’s . . . it’s complicated.”
“How so?”
“I’m not sure how he feels about me. I’m not exactly the biggest prize on the marriage mart. I’ve no dowry to speak of, nor any inheritance. The only thing that makes me remotely attractive is—” She cut herself off, hating how pathetic she sounded.
