AllFreeNovel
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He’s beautiful, of course. He’s Brock Steel. His lips are red and swollen from our kisses, and his eyes are glazed over from the orgasm.
Yes, he’s beautiful.
But something was definitely missing this time.
So much I want to say to him, but he’ll go running away if I do.
“I think I’ll go on the pill.” I lift my eyebrows. I’m not sure where those words came from.
“I’d love that, sweetheart.”
“Would you? Of course you would because it means you get to fuck me without a condom. I know enough about male anatomy to know it feels a hell of a lot better that way.”
“Wait, wait, wait… You said the words, Rory. And yeah, of course it feels better. Do you feel as much when you pet your dog with a glove on?”
I push him away and hop off the counter. “I’m not going on the pill, Brock.”
“Then why did you say it?”
Why did I? To please him. I said it to please him, not myself. And I’m not going to be that woman. I’m not going to be that woman who sacrifices a little part of herself to please her partner.
Still, I’m not sure how to answer his question, so I wing it. “To see what your reaction would be.”
“What did youthinkmy reaction would be?”
“Pretty much exactly what it was.”
He shakes his head then. “I give up. I freaking give up, Rory. I don’t know how to please you.”
“I’m just like any other woman.”
“But you’re not. You’re—” He rakes both hands through his hair. “You’re not. You’re beautiful and you’re bright. You light up the whole fucking room. And I’m—”
“What? You’re what?”
“Damn it!” He snaps his pants and paces throughout the kitchen. “I got drunk over you, Rory. I don’t do that.”
“You got drunk because you thought you might have gotten me pregnant,” I say.
“Christ! Don’t you hear what I’m saying to you?”
“I hear it very well. I’m not the one in an orgasm-induced haze right now.”
“Oh, sweetheart… Damn, you know how to cut me like a knife.”
His words gut me, but I continue. “Why does that surprise you? It was just a fuck, Brock. You didn’t do anything to make me come.”
“This is so not how I wanted tonight to go. I wanted to… I wanted to make it right between us, Rory. I wanted to…”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re trying to say.”
“Don’t. Don’t make me say what I’m not ready to say. Don’t make me say what you’re not ready to hear.”
“I’m ready to hear whatever you have to say.”
My heart speeds up. What does he think I’m not ready to hear?
I’m ready to hear whatever.
