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The vacant pillow beside him the next morning was his own fault for not getting around to ordering that Porta Potti. He pulled on his shorts and T-shirt. She’d better have the coffee going. He intended to sit on the porch with her, drinking the whole pot and talking about the rest of their lives. But when he walked across the yard, he saw that the red Corvette was missing. He rushed inside and was greeted with a ringing telephone.
“Get over here right now!” Nita exclaimed when he answered. “Blue’s leaving.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She set us up, telling us she was going on Monday. All the time, she planned to slip away today. Chauncey Crole went with her to pick up her rental car, and she’s heading out toward the garage now to load it up. I knew something wasn’t right. She’s been—”
Dean didn’t wait to hear the rest.
Fifteen minutes later, he turned in to the alley behind Nita’s house and skidded to a stop next to the garbage cans. Blue stood by the open trunk of a late-model Corolla. Despite the heat, she wore a black muscle shirt, jeans, and her biker’s boots. He wouldn’t have been surprised to see a spiked leather collar around her neck. The only thing soft about her was that fluffy little haircut. He sprang out of the truck. “Thanks for nothing.”
She dropped a box of painting supplies into the trunk. The backseat was already loaded up. “I had my fill of good-byes when I was a kid,” she said stonily. “I don’t put myself through that anymore. By the way, you’ll be happy to know I got my period.”
He’d never hurt a woman in his life, but he wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled. “You’re insane, you know that?” He stalked over to her. “I love you!”
“Yeah, yeah, I love you, too.” She tossed in her duffel.
“I mean it, Blue. We belong together. I should have told you how I felt last night, but you’re so damned skittish, I wanted to work up to it so I didn’t scare you off.”
She planted a hand on her hip, playing the badass but not quite pulling it off. “Get real. You don’t love me.”
“Is it so hard to believe?”
“Yes. You’re Dean Robillard, and I’m Blue Bailey. You wear designer labels, and I’m happy with a Wal-Mart bargain. I’m a drifter, and you have a career that lights up the sky. Do you need to hear more?” She slammed the trunk lid closed.
“That’s superficial crap.”
“Hardly.” She pulled a pair of cheap black sunglasses from the purse she’d left on the roof of the car and slipped them on. Her bluster faded, and her lower lip trembled. “You had your life turned inside out this summer, Boo, and I was the go-to girl helping you get through it. I’ve loved every minute of these last seven weeks, but it hasn’t been real life. I’ve been Alice living in your Wonderland.”
He hated feeling helpless and he went on the attack. “Believe me, I know the difference between reality and fantasy better than you do, judging from my dining room. You haven’t even figured out how frickin’ talented you are!”
“Thanks.”
“You love me, Blue.”
Her jaw jutted forward. “I’m crazy about you, but I don’t fall in love.”
“Yes, you do. But you haven’t got the guts to see it through. Smack-talking Blue Bailey lost her courage years ago.”
He waited for her counterattack, but she dipped her head and rubbed the toe of her boot in the gravel. “I’m a realist. Someday you’re going to thank me.”
All her sass and strut had disappeared. Her strength had been an act. She was a fake—soft inside, full of hurt and fear. He struggled to get his cool back but couldn’t manage it. “I can’t do this for you, Blue. You either have the guts to take a risk or you don’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
“If you leave, I’m not coming after you.”
“I understand.”
He couldn’t believe she was doing this. Even as he watched her climb into the car, he waited for her to find her courage. But the engine turned over. A dog barked in the distance. She backed out into the alley. A bee buzzed past him toward a stand of hollyhocks, and she pulled away. He waited for her to stop. To turn around. She didn’t.
The back door banged and Nita came down the steps, her robe flapping open over a crimson nightgown. He jumped into his truck before she could get to him. Something unthinkable pulled at the edges of his brain. He tried to push it away, but as he sped down the alley, it only gathered strength. What if Blue had told him the truth? What if he was the only one who’d fallen in love?
Was it true? Blue asked herself as she drove down Church Street for the last time. Was she a coward? She pulled off her sunglasses and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Dean believed he loved her, or he’d never have said the words. But people had said they loved her before, and every one of them had let her go. Dean wouldn’t be any different. Men like him weren’t meant for women like her.
She’d known from the beginning this affair put her in jeopardy, but even though she’d struggled to keep her emotions in check, she’d given her heart away. Maybe someday his words of love would be a sweet memory, but now they were a rusty knife twisting in her heart.
The tears rolled unchecked down her cheeks. She couldn’t shake off his hurtful words. Smack-talking Blue Bailey lost her courage years ago.
