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“Why? You’ll just tell me I have to go to Wynette, and I don’t want to go to Wynette right now.”
“Fine. You can ignore me until the wedding, then.”
“You and Phillip Morris tying the knot?” he asked.
“His name is Phillip Morrison, and you know very well that’s not the wedding I’m talking about.”
“Things between you and Phillip didn’t work out, I take it.”
“He wanted me to stop cussing and give him ten strokes.” She plopped one graceful hand on her hip. “I swear I couldn’t go through the rest of my life watching that golf swing of his without providing some semi-obscene commentary.”
“You broke up with him because you didn’t like his swing?”
“That and the fact that he named his cock.”
“Lots of men do that.”
“Yeah, but do they call it Barbie?”
Kenny sighed. “You’re making this up.”
“I wish I was.”
Emma couldn’t stand it any longer, and she whirled on him. “How did I get this tattoo!”
“You were dead set on it.”
“A flower! I wanted a small flower!”
“Not last night you didn’t. And, honey, you should be thanking me instead of yelling because you also ordered up the Union Jack for your other arm. When I put my foot down about that, we had a rip-snortin’ fight. I finally had to carry you out of the tattoo parlor kicking and screaming. I was afraid to take you back to the hotel, which is why you ended up here.”
Emma sagged down on the side of the bed. “But I only had two margaritas. How could I lose my memory on two drinks?”
“Each one of them packed a pretty good wallop. And you don’t seem to tolerate alcohol too well.”
She buried her head in her hands. “Nothing’s gone right since the moment I met you.”
“Which should pretty much give you a clue how the rest of your relationship’s gonna progress,” Torie said, heading toward the mirror to check her hair. “Kenny has a not-so-secret aversion to intimacy brought on by an unhealthy early relationship with our late, unlamented mother.”
“Will you shut up!”
Torie fluffed her bangs. “He bounces back and forth between bimbos, because they’re safe, and real women with actual brains, because that’s the type he naturally prefers. But the key word here is bounce. He’s pretty much the Bermuda Triangle when it comes to committed relationships. Count yourself lucky if you figure that out early on.”
“Will you get the hell out of here!” He spoke before Emma had a chance to clarify their relationship.
“Not till you promise to come back to Wynette. Daddy’s planning to hold the wedding while you’re on suspension so he can make sure you’ll be there.”
“You just said you and Phillip broke up.”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about! My wedding to that dweeb Dexter O’Conner.”
“When are you going to figure out that they can’t have a wedding without your cooperation?” He whipped the towel from around his neck and tossed it aside.
“That’s easy to say, but Daddy’s putting a lot of pressure on me. He’s given me thirty days to get Dexter’s ring on my finger or he’s canceling my charge cards. Then how am I going to pay my feed bill?”
“He’s bluffing.” Kenny headed into his walk-in closet.
“Not this time.” Her voice grew small and discouraged. “Maybe I should just marry Dexter.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “That and getting divorced are about the only things I do really well.”
