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I am flying to New York today. I have already neglected business far too long. Perhaps I will return, perhaps not.
Alexi
She crumpled the note and pitched it to the floor. Damn him! After what he’d done to her last night, she was glad he was gone. He was a monster. She swung her feet over the edge of the bed, only to feel her stomach pitch. As she fell back on the pillow, she closed her eyes and admitted to herself that she was afraid. Alexi had been taking care of her, and without him, she didn’t know what to do.
Throwing her forearm across her eyes, she tried to reason away her fears by reconstructing James Dean’s face in her mind—the disobedient hair, the sulky eyes and rebellious mouth. Gradually she grew calmer. A man is his own man, a woman her own woman. She’d let her ambitions drift while she was with Flynn. It was time to take charge of her life again.
She spent the rest of January trying to reach her contacts. She placed telephone calls, wrote notes to the studio executives she’d met through Flynn, and began making the rounds again, but nothing happened. The rent came due on the bungalow at the Garden of Allah, and she was forced to return to her old apartment, where she fought with her roommates until they told her to move out. She ignored them. Stupid cows, content with so little.
Disaster arrived in a pale blue envelope. A letter from her mother informed Belinda her parents would no longer support her foolishness. Enclosed was their last check.
She made a halfhearted attempt to get a job, but she’d been feeling sick, plagued by mysterious headaches and a perpetual upset stomach, like a case of the flu that wouldn’t quite take hold. She began hoarding what little money she had left, going without the meals she didn’t want to eat anyway, eliminating her trips to Schwab’s, and wondering how such horrible things could be happening to the woman Errol Flynn had once adored.
The knowledge that she was pregnant with Flynn’s child finally hit her the morning she couldn’t force herself to get dressed. For two days she lay in her rickety bed, staring at the stained ceiling, trying to comprehend what had happened. She remembered horrified whispers about Indianapolis girls who’d gone too far, rumors of shotgun weddings or, even worse, no weddings at all. But those were girls from the wrong side of the tracks, not Dr. Britton’s daughter, Edna Cornelia. Girls like her got married first and then had babies. To do it the other way around was unimaginable.
She thought about trying to contact Flynn, but she didn’t know how to locate him. Besides, she couldn’t imagine him helping her. And then she thought about Alexi Savagar.
It took her two days to locate him. He was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel. She left a message.
Miss Britton will be waiting for Mr. Savagar in the Polo Lounge this evening at five o’clock.
The late February afternoon was cool, and she dressed carefully in a butterscotch velvet suit and a white nylon blouse that hinted at the lacy detail of her slip beneath. She wore pearl button earrings and a string of cultured pearls she’d received for her sixteenth birthday because her parents didn’t want to bother with a party. Her hat was a butterscotch tam, jaunty and carefree perched on the side of her head. With the addition of proper white cotton gloves and slightly improper needle-pointed heels, she was ready for the drive to Schwab’s, where she left her battered Studebaker and called a taxi to deliver her to the elegant porte-cochere that marked the entrance of the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Flynn had taken her to the Polo Lounge several times, but she still felt a thrill as she stepped inside. She gave the maître d’ Alexi’s name, and followed him to a curved banquette facing the door, priority seating in the most famous cocktail lounge in the country. Even though she didn’t like martinis, she ordered one because it was sophisticated, and she wanted Alexi to see her with it.
While she waited for him, she tried to calm herself by studying the other patrons. Van Heflin sat with a tiny blonde. She spotted Greer Garson and Ethel Merman at separate tables, and, across the room, one of the studio executives she had met when she was with Flynn. A page dressed in a brass-buttoned jacket came through. “Call for Mis-tuh Heflin. Call for Mis-tuh Heflin.” Van Heflin lifted his hand, and a pink telephone appeared at his table.
As she toyed with the long, cool stem of her glass, she tried not to notice that her hands were trembling. Alexi wouldn’t arrive at five o’clock. She’d damaged his pride the last time they were together. But would he come at all? She couldn’t imagine what she’d do if he didn’t.
Gregory Peck and his new French wife, Veronique, arrived. Veronique was a former newspaperwoman, dark-haired and beautiful, and envy coiled inside Belinda. Veronique’s famous husband gave her a private smile and said something only she could hear. Veronique laughed and placed her hand over his, the gesture tender and proprietary. In that instant Belinda hated Veronique Peck as she had never hated another human being.
At six o’clock Alexi walked into the Polo Lounge. He paused in the doorway to exchange a few words with the maître d’ before he moved toward her banquette. He was dressed in a pearl-gray silk suit, immaculate as always, and several people greeted him as he passed their tables. She had forgotten how much attention Alexi attracted. Flynn had said it was because Alexi had the uncanny ability to turn old money into new.
He slid wordlessly into the banquette, bringing with him the expensive scent of his cologne. H
is expression was unfathomable, and a small shiver slid down her spine.
“Château Haut-Brion, 1952,” he said to the waiter. He gestured toward her half-finished martini. “Take that away. Mademoiselle will have wine with me.”
As the waiter disappeared, Alexi lifted her hand to his lips and gently kissed it. She tried not to think about the last time they were together when his kiss hadn’t been gentle at all.
“You seem nervous, ma chère.”
The small collection of cells relentlessly multiplying inside her made doubts impossible, and she lifted her shoulders in a casual shrug. “It’s been a long time. I—I missed you.” Her sense of injustice sprang to the surface. “How could you go off like that? Without calling me or anything.”
He looked amused. “You needed time to think, chérie. To see how you liked being alone.”
“I didn’t like it at all,” she retorted.
“I didn’t think you would.” He studied her as if she’d been mounted between glass slides and pushed under a microscope. “Tell me what you learned during your time of introspection.”
“I learned that I’ve grown to depend on you,” she replied carefully. “Everything fell apart after you left, and you weren’t around to help me put it back together. I guess I’m not as independent as I thought.”
The waiter appeared with the wine. Alexi took a sip, gave a distracted nod, and waited until they were alone before returning his attention to her. She told him what had taken place in the past month: her failure to capture the interest of a single producer, the fact that her parents would no longer support her. She told him all her miseries except the most important one.
“I see,” he said. “So much to have happened in such a short time. Are there any more disasters you need to lay at my feet?”
She swallowed hard. “No, nothing else. But I’m out of money, and I need you to help me make some decisions.”
