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Nealy rubbed her eyes. “What’s Lucy doing now?”
“Charlie showed up to take her swimming right after she ran into the house. At first she told him she wouldn’t go, but he said Bertis was making fudge and her feelings would be hurt, so she grabbed Button and they took off.”
“You let her take Button?”
“Lucy protects Button better than the Secret Service protected you.” He straightened one leg, gazed out into the backyard of the house behind them. “And the baby needs time away from us.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s . . .” He looked uncomfortable. “She’s getting pretty attached.”
Even though she knew what he meant, a chill crept through her. “Babies are supposed to get attached. That’s what being a baby is all about.”
“Nealy . . .”
She rose to her feet. “People are supposed to get attached.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Nothing. Forget it.”
She walked away from him and hurried into the house. As soon as she got inside, she went upstairs to put away her clothes, anything to keep from thinking, but she heard his tread on the steps.
The bed was still rumpled, the place where they’d made love last night. Things like making beds had always been done for her, and she kept forgetting she needed to do it for herself.
He stopped inside the door. “I can’t keep those kids. That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want me to keep them.”
She grabbed the sheet and pulled it up. “You should have seen Lucy’s face when I told her who I was. She’s built this fantasy around the two of us. I know we both told her it wasn’t realistic, but she refused to believe it. She thought if she clung to her dreams hard enough, she could make them come true.”
“That’s not our problem.”
Her frustration boiled over, and she rounded on him. “What’s so great about that manly, solitary life you’re trying so hard to get back to? Tell me, Mat. What’s so great about a life that doesn’t include them?” And me, she wanted to cry. What’s so great about a life without me?
“You’re not being fair,” he said steadily.
“I don’t care! I saw Lucy’s face, and fair doesn’t do it for me right now.”
“I don’t have to justify my life to you.”
She turned away from him, busied herself with the bed. “No, you don’t.”
“Listen to me, Nealy. I didn’t make this situation. It was forced on me.”
“Yes, I believe you’ve mentioned that before.” The sharpness in her voice came from pain. Maybe they’d only been together for a week, but during that time, they’d been a family. While that bond was a burden to him, it meant everything to her.
“Is this about the kids or is it about us?”
He didn’t have a high tolerance for subtlety, and she should have known he’d plunge right in.
“There isn’t any us,” she managed, praying he’d disagree. “We both know that. Not beyond what exists right now.”
“Do you want there to be?”
Oh, no. She wouldn’t let him do this to her. “How can there be? I’m female, remember? Part of the evil empire. Not to mention a national institution.”
“You’re really pissing me off.”
“And you know what? I don’t care.”
