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“And what? You think I should try to make a difference too?” I narrow my eyes at him, feeling the urge to be angry and combative rising up. It’s easier than the grief I feel thinking about my father bleeding to death inches from where I’m sitting now, asking for his best friend, giving up any chance at surviving his wounds in order to extract a promise on holy ground. An unbreakable vow.
Like the one I’m meant to make on Saturday. A vow that is supposed to last a lifetime, to a man that I would do almost anything to escape.
“No,” Father Donahue says quietly. “I think you should do your best to survive, Sofia, as your father wanted you to. You should do what you must.”
“And what if I don’t want to?” I can feel the lump in my throat rising. “What if it’s unbearable?”
“Luca is not the man I hoped he would grow up to be,” Father Donahue admits. “He is a hard man, and prideful, and arrogant at times, and cold. But the world he is in shaped him to be that way, and I don’t think that he’s truly an evil man. I think there is some good in him—there’s just been no one to bring it out.”
“And I should be that person?” I demand, narrowing my eyes again. “I don’twantto be his therapy, Father. I don’t want to fix him. I hate him.” The last words come out childish and petulant, but I don’t care. “I’m not about to sacrifice my self-worth on the altar of fixing a man.”
Father Donahue’s eyes crinkle around the edges, and his mouth twitches in a real smile. “I see so much of Giovanni in you,” he says with a laugh. “You are your father’s daughter, through and through, and he would be proud of you. No, Sofia,” he continues. “You are not responsible for Luca’s behavior. You should never take that on yourself. I’m only saying that what seems like cruelty may be his defenses—defenses against the world around him, against what he perceives as weakness, against you. I don’t think he means to be cruel, if he is. And I have some small hope for him still.”
“So that’s it?” I look at him helplessly, and I realize in that moment that I was hoping for an out. Some way to escape my impending marriage. “I just marry Luca on Saturday—and give up everythingI’veever wanted?”
“For now, yes.” Father Donahue hesitates, and then turns to face me fully, reaching for my hands. His are cool and dry, aged and weathered, but I can feel the strength in them. “I’ve agreed to this wedding because for now, it seems to be the best way to preserve the vow that your father asked Marco Romano to make. But—” he lifts a finger, his eyes narrowing. “Your father, above all, wished for you to be happy, Sofia. And he wished more than anything for you to escape this life, and everything in it. So if the day comes that your life is not in danger, and you are unhappy in your marriage and wish to leave it, I want you to come to me, Sofia.” His voice lowers as he speaks, until it’s barely a whisper.
“I loved your father dearly, and I owed him a great many things. I vowed, too, to look after you. And so I repeat that vow now, Sofia, in the presence of the Lord and the Holy Mother, in memory of your father, that I will do all I can to protect you, and keep you safe. If there comes a day when you wish to leave Luca, all you need to do is walk through those doors, and I will find a way.” He pauses, letting go of my hands. “But for now, this is the best path forward that I can see.”
For a moment I can’t breathe, hope springing up inside of me for the first time since I woke up in Luca’s room. The tiny loophole that I found seems bigger now, more possible, and the looming threat of Saturday wanes a little with this new information.
I just have to wait until Don Rossi dies.With the immediate threat to my life lifted, I can run to Father Donahue. He’ll help me escape. And I can put all of this behind me.
My marriage is no longer a life sentence. Only a temporary one.
Father Donahue smiles kindly at me, standing up slowly. “Come, Sofia,” he says, his voice deep and calming. “It’s not the ceremony we usually have, but it’s time for your confirmation. And then you can go.”
He doesn’t say “back home,” and I know why. Luca’s penthouse will never be my home, and neither will whatever apartment Luca chooses to give me.
I don’t know, in the end, where my home will be. But I feel hopeful that I’ll have one of my own, one day.
Standing up slowly, I follow Father Donahue to the altar, breathing in the scent of incense in the vast room.
In three days, I’ll take my marriage vows. I’ll do the unthinkable, and stand in front of Luca, in this church, and lie.
Because I have no intention of keeping them.
Luca
Ihadn’t thought that there could be anything I wanted to do less than go to one of the formal parties that the Rossi family throws from time to time, like the Don’s anniversary party or Catalina’s engagement.
But now I’ve found a new one to dread.
My own wedding rehearsal.
I’ve managed to avoid Sofia entirely since the afternoon I found myself jerking off standing in her closet, clutching her dress like a deranged, lovesick boy. That was the wake-up call that let me know I needed to put some serious space between the two of us, and I proceeded to do exactly that.
There’s just one problem left.
I haven’t fucked anyone in a week.
That same night, I went out to my favorite whiskey bar and took my usual spot near the window, waiting to find the perfect woman to take home and use to fuck every single thought of Sofia out of my head.
I waited. And waited. And waited some more.
And for the first time since I was old enough to go out to a bar, hell, sincebeforeI was legally supposed to be drinking in bars—it’s amazing what being rich allows you to do at eighteen—I went home alone.
I, Luca Romano, legendary Manhattan playboy, went home alone.
