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It’s all I can do not to arch into his body, not to pull him closer to mine. His mouth is as warm and soft as I’d imagined, not firm and tense the way it had been on our wedding day. I hear the groan deep in his throat as his hands tighten on my waist, feel the warmth of his tongue brushing over my lower lip, and I want more.
“Viktor—” his name slips from my mouth before I can stop myself. I feel my heartbeat in my throat, everything in my head screaming at me to stop, everything in my body screaming at me to keep going. His lips feel so good on mine, the slide of his tongue, warm and firm and making me think of what it might feel like to spread my legs and let him kiss me this way lower down, something Franco never did, something I’ve never experienced.
His hand slides up my waist, presses against my ribs. I breathe in, and then his hand slides higher, his thumb pressing against the boning in the neckline of my dress, his palm rubbing over my stiffening nipple, and alarms go off in my head.
I have to stop this. I have to stop it now, or I won’t stop it at all, and then I’ll have no more defense, no more high ground.
There will be no more fertility treatments, no way to stay out of Viktor’s bed, no way to keep him from wanting this night after night until I fall into the trap I’ve been so desperately trying to avoid.
Before I can let it go any further, I bring my hands up, shoving them against his chest hard. “No,” I breathe, breaking the kiss, turning my face away, and praying he doesn’t choose this moment to lean forward and drag his mouth down the sensitive skin of my throat. “No, Viktor.”
For a moment, he doesn’t move, and I have a flash of fear, a memory from my marriage to Franco, of me saying no and him laughing in my face.You’re my wife. You can’t tell me no.
The fear is enough to push back my desire, to stop me cold in my tracks. I shove harder, pushing him a step back with sheer force, which is impressive in and of itself.
“Stop, Viktor!” My voice rises, and then to my surprise, Viktor takes several steps backward, putting an arm’s length between us and then more as he retreats towards his side of the bed.
“Alright.” He’s still breathing more heavily than usual, and I can see the thick ridge of his erection, pressing against the trousers of his tux. “I’m not going to force you.”
He looks so handsome, so devastatinglysexyin that moment that it’s all I can do not to change my mind, not to follow him and push him back onto the bed. The thought of hiking up the silk skirt of my dress, straddling him, and guiding his thick cock into me makes me feel a rush of power—that I could have it if I chose. His hair is mussed from my fingers running through it, his lips reddened from the kiss, his eyes still full of heated lust as they rake over my body again despite his words.I could have anything I wanted tonight.
But that power would be fleeting. And once it was done, Viktor would have reclaimed all the power in our marriage that he’ll ever need.
I spin on my heel, tearing my gaze away, and flee to the bathroom. The moment I slam the door shut behind me, I lean back against it, closing my eyes and wishing for my heart to stop racing.
I can’t let that happen again.
