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It’s hard to argue with that.Idon’t really feel that I belong here. “You know,” I say gently to Anika as the driver pulls away from the curb, “this wasn’t my choice. Your father picked me, and I didn’t really get a say in it.”
To my surprise, Anika actually looks at me then, her face pensive. “You could have told him no.”
I hesitate, unsure of how much to say. I don’t want to be the reason either of the girls think differently of their father. “Someone that I couldn’t say no to asked me to agree to marry your father,” I tell Anika carefully. “It’s very complicated. It wasn’t as simple as just saying no.”
She wrinkles her nose at me. “Is this where you tell me I’ll understand when I’m all grown up?”
I have to stifle a laugh at that. “No,” I say gently. “It’s something I hope you don’teverhave to understand. But I don’t know what your father’s plans for that are when you’re older. And that’s something you have a long time before you need to think about.”
“I wouldn’t marry anyone I was told to,” Anika says, lifting her chin. “I don’t even want to get married. Boys are gross.”
I don’t argue with her. Far be it from me to be the one who tells Anika that most likely her father will marry her to someone that is advantageous for him, just as I was married to Viktor because it was beneficial for both of our families. One day, if it happens, I’ll be there for her to comfort her and help her through it, just as my mother tried to do for me when I was growing up. But for now, I want to let her believe that choice will be hers to make.
The girls scramble from the car when it pulls up to the curb at a high-rise building, one that I assume holds Viktor’s offices. “Wait for me, Anika,” I call out, holding Yelena’s hand tightly as we slide out of the door the driver is holding for us. Yelena clings to my hand, and a warm feeling washes over me, reminding me that things will be better when I’m comfortable taking care of the girls and when I have a baby of my own.
They need me. My own child will need me. And that should give me a purpose, at least.
“Girls!” Viktor meets us at the elevator when it opens at his floor, his smile bright and all for them. He glances at me but quickly gathers Anika and Yelena up, telling them that he has lunch all set up in the conference room as soon as he grabs something from his office.
I follow them in, looking around as I take in my surroundings. The office is simple, with a long desk near the window, clear except for a calendar and a stack of files, with two more boxes of files next to it. There are leather chairs for seating, a bookshelf, and a bar cart, but it’s hardly a homey space. I can see why Viktor prefers to be home instead of long nights at the office when he’s able.
“I can seeeverything!”Yelena pulls away from my hand, tearing towards the floor-to-ceiling window that makes up the back of the room. I hear footsteps come in behind me just as she pulls away, and Viktor says: “Alexei—” just before she knocks into the boxes of files next to the desk, sending them sprawling everywhere.
“Yelena!” Viktor snaps in a voice I’ve never heard him use before. But I can’t move because all I can see are the files and papers spread across the floor, scattered by Yelena’s clumsiness.
There are pictures of girls on the front page of every file, with their details—names, height, age, weight—and below that, I see numbers. Figures. Projected sale prices.
My stomach turns over, and I back up, nearly running into Alexei. I see his smirk, and I push past him out into the hallway, unable to breathe.
“Alexei, go look after my wife,” I hear Viktor say from a distance, my ears ringing as if I’m hearing him from the end of a long tunnel. “Girls! Sit down, right now, while I clean this up. Don’t move!”
“Mrs. Andreyva?” Alexei’s voice is behind me, and I straighten slowly, meeting his pale blue gaze. I can see the mocking expression on his face, the smirk on his lips. He doesn’t like me, I can tell. Maybe he doesn’t like me because I’m Italian, or because he thinks I’m not good enough for Viktor, or because he hated my father—who knows? I don’t, and at this moment, I don’t even particularly care.
“I’m fine.” I lick my dry lips, trying tolookas if I’m fine because I’m not really. But I don’t want Alexei to know that, or Viktor either.
“You didn’t know what your husband did for business, did you?” His smirk grows. “You’ve been in the dark this entire time about the man you married.”
“I’ve heard rumors.” I force out the words through a mouth that feels as if it’s filled with cotton. “I didn’t know how true they were.”
“What are you going to do now? Run back to Romano?” The taunt in Alexei’s voice is clear. “It won’t help you. He knows what Viktor does. He thought he was saving Sofia from that fate when he shot up a hotel room to bring her home.”
Luca knows?Of course, he does,I tell myself.Don’t be stupid.Liam probably knows too, my father probably knew, and anyone else who does business in our world. It’s just that I was shielded from it, insulated, and I’d let myself believe that it was all rumors. That something so awful couldn’t really be true.
Viktor steps out, motioning for Alexei. “Caterina, take the girls for a minute,” he says, as coolly as if I didn’t see anything at all. “I need to speak with Alexei.”
My heart is racing in my chest as Anika and Yelena step out into the hall. “I’ll be with you in just a minute,” Viktor says, stepping into the office with Alexei and shutting the door.
I still feel as if I can’t breathe. How am I supposed to sit here and have lunch with my husband and his daughters as if everything is okay, as if I didn’t just see files of other daughters that Viktor is selling to the highest bidder?
I have to get out of here. I need air. I need something familiar, somewhere that I can think for just one goddamned minute. But I’m not about to abandon Anika and Yelena in the hall, either, or send them back into the office where I’m sure Viktor and Alexei are dealing with the scattered files right now, where they could see the truth of what their father does.
Who he really is.
“Come on, girls,” I say with authority, speaking like their mother for the first time. “Your father is busy. Let’s go. We’ll see him at dinner tonight.”
“He said to wait.” Anika narrows her eyes. “We should stay.”
“We’re going.” I don’t let her pull her hand away. “Come on. Your father wants me to take care of things when he’s not able to. He’s said so himself. I’m supposed to take care of the two ofyou, especially. So that’s what I’m doing.”
