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Karen reached for her hand. “Everyone’s a mess underneath it all,sweetie.”
“Maybe, but I don’t want to be a messanymore.”
They both looked up at the intercom as itbuzzed.
“Want me to get it?” Karenasked.
Nina nodded and Karen walked to the intercom. “Yes?”
“Is Nina there? It’sLiam.”
The sound of his voice was like a punch to thestomach.
Nina stood. “I’llgo.”
“She’s on her way down,” Karen said into theintercom.
“Want me to come with you?” Karen asked as Nina slipped on hersandals.
She shook her head. “I’m a biggirl.”
But she didn’t feel like a big girl as she left the apartment and started down the stairs. She felt sixteen again, navigating the waters of relationships she didn’t understand, making mistakes, hurting people and gettinghurt.
Liam was sitting on her stoop when she emerged from the lobby. He stood, relief washing over his face in the moment before he took in her pajamas, her tear-stainedface.
“Thank god! Are you… what’swrong?”
She had to swallow around the lump in her throat, the emotion that swelled in her chest at the sight of him — young and blond and beautiful, his eyes filled with something that almost looked likelove.
“I’m sorry if I worried you,” shesaid.
He pulled her into his arms and she allowed herself a minute, just a minute, to breathe him in, to memorize the feel of his arms around her and the touch of his lips against her hair, the shelter he’d provided when she needed itmost.
Then she broke away. “Can wesit?”
He nodded and they sat side by side on the steps. She chewed her lip as she tried to decide how to say what she needed to say, then decided there was no easy way to sayit.
“I can’t… I can’t do this anymore, Liam. Notnow.”
It took no effort to discern the pain in his eyes, his feelings as obvious as Jack’s had been hidden. “What do youmean?”
She stared at the street to avoid looking him in the eye. It was cowardly, but it was the best she could do. For once, it would have to be goodenough.
“I moved too fast… let things get out of hand.” She hesitated. “I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t fair toyou.”
He put an arm around her shoulder. “I knew what I was getting into. I still know. I can bepatient.”
Tears leaked from her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. “Dammit…” She was going to have to come clean. It was the only way to keep him from being so nice, from thinking there was a way back for them. She turned to look at him. “There was someone else,” shesaid.
He withdrew his arm and his jaw tightened. “When?”
“While I was seeing you,” shesaid.
“The wholetime?”
She knew what he was asking: had she continued seeing Jack after she’d slept with Liam? After they’d been so intimate? After they’d shared so much more thansex?
She nodded. “The whole time. At first I didn’t know if it mattered, if you even wanted to be with just me.Later…”
