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She was surprised to see an amused smile touch the corners of his mouth. “Didyou?”
She laughed. “I did. Have I become acliche?”
“Never.” He was stillsmiling.
“What about you?” They were skirting the past, avoiding everything that had happened between them and the question Nina had alreadyasked.
What are you doinghere?
“The stuff I’ve been doing isn’t very interestingeither.”
She smiled at his use of the word “stuff.” It sounded funny coming from his mouth. “I find that hard tobelieve.”
“Business, social events, which are essentially more business, travel, whichis— ”
“Essentially morebusiness?”
“Yes.”
Reggie turned a corner and the light played across Jack’s face, casting it in reds and yellows before it retreated back into the shadows. She was overwhelmed with his presence, her chest filling like a too-fullballoon.
Tears stung her eyes, and she turned her face to the window. It wasn’t the events of Paris that hurt, not anymore. Jack hadn’t understood the dynamic of their relationship. He’d confused her announcement about seeing other people with his own penchant for sexual experimentation, a mistake that had been harder and harder to condemn him for as time wentby.
When she looked back on that night, it wasn’t the sex club that haunted her or the two women giving Jack a blowjob while she watched, it was the expression on Jack’s face as they’d fought on thestreet.
He’d been shocked by her reaction, genuinely remorseful that he’d misunderstood. It made her realize that he hadn’t known her. Notreally.
And that hadn’t been all hisfault.
She’d been so consumed with doing everything right that she hadn’t let him really seeher.
The car came to a stop and Nina realized they’d arrived outside herapartment.
Jack’s hand closed over hers. “I made a terrible mistake.” He paused. “More thanone.”
“We both made mistakes,” shesaid.
“No.”
“Yes.” She met his eyes through the dark interior of the car. “I followed your rules — the ones you told me about and the ones you left unspoken. I didn’t let you know me. If I had, you would have known… well, you would have known Paris was a badidea.”
He touched her chin and turned her head until she was forced to look at him. “I always wanted to know you, Nina. I still do, if you’ll give me anotherchance.”
She swallowed hard. “I don’t know, Jack. I’m not… I’m not likeyou.”
“I think you’re more like me than you’re willing toadmit.”
Her cheeks heated at the implication, at the truth in it: she’d liked what he’d done to her in bed. Had liked the command he’d taken over her body, the way his authority left no room for thought, no room for anything but her need, hungry andunapologetic.
“In some ways maybe. But I can’t just… fuck you and then go about my business. I can’t be an empty vessel for your fantasies, and I can’t accept you as an empty vessel for mine. It’s not enough, would never have beenenough.”
Silence stretched betweenthem.
“I understand,” Jack finally said, his voice pained. “I’m afraid I’m not… very good at expressingfeelings—“
“I’m afraid I’m not very good at living withoutthem.”
A smile touched his mouth. “You didn’t let mefinish.”
