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She balancedthe grocery bags in one arm while she slipped her key in the lock, then stepped into the lobby. Mister Twinkle met her at the door, barking like he’d never seen Nina before while Sal, the building’s Super, stood near the top of a ladder twisting a new lightbulb into one of the lobby’s lightfixtures.
“You’ll have to wait,” Sal said without looking ather.
“That’s fine.” The ladder blocked the staircase. “Let me hold that foryou.”
She worked around the yipping dog, careful not to step on one of his feet like she had three months earlier, a mistake she felt certain had set their tumultuous relationship backmonths.
After setting the grocery bags on the floor, she grabbed onto the ladder to steady it while Sal finished thejob.
“Was that you blaring your music last weekend?” he asked as he replaced the light fixture’scover.
Nina cringed. She’d hoped Sal either hadn’t heard or had forgotten about her late night hosting Karen, Robin, Amy, and Moni. They were usually gone by midnight, but last weekend Moni’s daughter had been staying with a friend, a fact that may or may not have contributed to the increasingly dirty conversation, four bottles of wine, and an impromptu 80s danceparty.
Nina tried playing dumb. “Lastweekend?”
Sal climbed down from the ladder and scowled at her. “Don’t give me that innocentface.”
Nina bit her lip, her cheeks flushing like a schoolgirl caught breaking curfew. “Sorry. I didn’t realize how late it hadgotten.”
He pointed at her. “Get it together, Fontaine. You’re not a kid forchrissakes!”
Nina suppressed her laughter and tried for a somber expression. “You’re right, Sal. I’msorry.”
“You should be,” he grumbled, folding the ladder. “A woman your age… Come on, MisterTwinkle.”
He headed for the door to the supplycloset.
“Need help with that?” she called afterhim.
He waved her off without turning around and she bent to pick up her groceries and started up the stairs. She couldn’t help feeling like Sal’s criticism was a badge of honor. In spite of her outward contrition, she didn’t feel a bit embarrassed by her behavior, a breakthrough in and of itself. She’d spent years being a grownup, worrying about acting her age, but it turned out the definition of mature was a lot more malleable that she’dthought.
It had been almost a year since her divorce from Peter was finalized. A year since she’d abandoned the suburbs for the city, since she’d left behind everyone else’s expectations — and her own. She’d stopped ordering her usual food, had stopped wearing the clothes she’d once justified as comfortable, had stopped worrying about what everyone else thought about herchoices.
Ending her relationships with Liam and Jack had been a crucial step in the process, something she’d known intuitively at the time that had only become more apparent during the past months. She’d gone from thinking about what Peter wanted to thinking about what Liam and Jack wanted, when what she’d really needed was to get rid of all the distractions until all that was left was what shewanted.
She still had to remind herself to ask thequestions.
Do you want this,Nina?
What do you want todo?
To order? To wear? Tosay?
Sometimes the answers didn’t come easily, but last Saturday night, she’d known for sure she wanted to demolish four bottles of wine and laugh and dance with hergirlfriends.
She opened the door to her apartment on the second floor and closed it quickly behind her, then looked around for Virginia — so named for Virginia Woolf — while she crossed to thekitchen.
The cat was sitting in her favorite sunny windowsill. She eyed Nina with a moment’s curiosity, then lowered her head to resume what had obviously been an interruptednap.
“Guess I’m old hat now, huh?” Nina said, setting the groceries on thecounter.
For the first two months after she’d brought Virginia home from the shelter, the cat had darted for the door every time Nina had opened it. It had only been in the last few weeks that she’d become accustomed to Nina’s comings and goings and her own place in theapartment.
Nina unpacked the groceries and filled Virginia’s bowl with fresh water before crossing the living room to scratch behind the cat’s ears. She briefly opened her eyes, then closed them as if pretending to ignore Nina’s affections. A moment later, she waspurring.
Nina smiled. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone you’re starting to likeme.”
