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20
Nina leanedher head on Jack’s shoulder and breathed in the scent of the sea, crashing against the wall that protected the ancient city of Split from the Aegean. They’d been in Croatia for nearly a week, a vacation to the Dalmatian Coast that had seemed impossible when Jack proposed it a few days after her lunch withJudith.
What would Nina do about the gallery? Who would feedVirginia?
They were silly objections. Moni could feed Virginia, and Nina hadn’t asked for more than a single day off at the gallery since she’d started more than a yearago.
But Nina had been hesitant even as Moni and the girls called her crazy and urged her to go. Only Karen seemed to understand, turning to Nina when they were finally alone and placing a hand on herarm.
“You’ll never know if you can trust yourself if you don’t try,” she’dsaid.
And then Nina had understood: she was afraid of gettinglost.
Lost in Jack and his life and in the control his games gave him over herbody.
Her life in New York was an anchor, her shifts at the gallery, conversations with Judith, and plans with her friends the only things keeping her from disappearing completely. Leaving felt like letting go of the rope that had so far prevented her from being carried out to sea on the current of her darkdesire.
But Karen was right: staying because she was afraid to go was a step backward, a forfeit to the fear she’d been trying to banish when she’d allowed herself to start seeing Jackagain.
So she’d taken the time off, paid Angela to feed Virginia with Moni’s supervision, packed a bag, boarded Jack’splane.
Jack’s lips on her forehead pulled her back to the present. “What are you thinking about, darling? You’re soquiet.”
“I’m glad I came,” shesaid.
He chuckled. “I’d have done something wrong if youweren’t.”
She smiled into his shoulder. It had been a magical few days. They’d stayed at a quaint but luxurious house — his, he’d told her — perched on a cliff overlooking the water. They’d swam naked on a private beach, laid in the sun, walked the stone streets of the city while Jack recounted its history, first as a Greek colony in the second or third century and later as a Byzantine city. It had eventually become part of a struggle between Hungary and Venice before falling firmly into Venice’s hands and being surrounded by Ottomanterritory.
She’d listened with fascination, remembering Judith’s words about Samuel, about how his knowledge and education had excited her. As she toured Diocletian’s Palace with Jack, he only became more attractive to her, casually recounting the site’s history as a home for the Roman emperor at the turn of the fourthcentury.
They made love into the early morning hours every night, Nina bound, able to only moan around the gag they’d begun using with more frequency, biting down on the soft ball in her mouth as Jack withheld her orgasm again and again while he gave into hisown.
His games were aided by an assortment of toys that included crops and ticklers, vibrators and anal plugs. None of it felt like enough. She wanted more even as she didn’t know what “more” wouldentail.
She’d spent their time in Split in a constant state of arousal, the friction of simply walking requiring her to focus on anything but the pressure between her legs, on the verge of release every moment of everyday.
They stopped at a railing and looked out over the sea, dark beyond the walkway’slights.
“It’s so beautiful here,” Nina said. “Like time hasstopped.”
He turned toward her and lifted her face, closing his mouth gently over hers. She sank into the kiss, his tongue sweeping hers with a tenderness he was only able to show outside of thebedroom.
“It could be this way all the time, you know,” he said, looking into hereyes.
She smiled. “It is like this all the time. Not quite as beautiful in New York, but you know what Imean.”
His expression grew serious. “Have you been happy with me, Nina? These last fewmonths?”
I think I might be too conflicted to behappy.
She thought about her words to Karen and wondered if it was true. Maybe her definition of happy was just toonarrow.
“Of course,” shesaid.
He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I’m glad. You’ve made me veryhappy.”
“Have I?” sheasked.
