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She looked up at him. “Does he know? Yourdad?”
“About the business?” Ronanasked.
Shenodded.
His face was grim, his jaw set as he kept his eyes on the sand in front of them. “More orless.”
“More orless?”
“It’s not something we talk openly about,” he said. “But heknows.”
“I take it he doesn’t approve?” sheasked.
He laughed a little but there was no humor in it. “You could saythat.”
“Because he was acop?”
“Probably,” Ronan said. “Or maybe he was a cop because he doesn’tapprove.”
“He’s a law and order kind of guy?” sheasked.
“He believes inrules.”
She hesitated, not wanting to overstep. “Even after what happened to Erin?” It felt wrong to speak her name. Julia had the feeling it was sacred. She didn’t know if she had theright.
“Even then,” Ronan said. He bent to pick up a stick in the sand and threw it into the shallow surf for Chief, who bounded after it. “It was hard for me to understand, the way he could just let itgo.”
Julia opened her mouth to say something, then changed hermind.
“What?” Ronanprodded.
“I was just going to say that I’m sure it wasn’t easy,” Julia said. “People are so different, the way they deal withthings.”
“Like you and Elise?” Ronanasked.
She turned her eyes to the sea, shimmering darkly in the distance as the sun sank below Boston’s skyscrapers. She hadn’t expected her questions about Ronan’s father to be turned back on her but fair wasfair.
“Our mom was kind of MIA growing up.” Julia laughed, trying to make light of it, but it rang false even to her own ears. “Married and divorced four times. I learned to take care of things, to take care ofElise.”
“And Elise?” heasked.
Chief brought the stick back and nosed Julia’s hand. She took it from the dog’s mouth and tossed it back into thewater.
“Elise learned to let me take care of her. But then, I’m guessing you already knew all that,” shesaid.
“Reading about someone in a dossier isn’t the same as knowing them. I never forget that.” Chief had found something in the seaweed lining the shore. She bent her to investigate, burrowing into the kelp. Ronan gestured to a place just beyond the reach of the waves rolling ashore. “Want tosit?”
Julia lowered herself to the sand and hugged her knees to her chest. Chief was still nosing her way through the seaweed, the stickforgotten.
It had been strangely intimate, meeting Ronan’s father, being privy to all the unspoken things that existed in families likehis.
Likehers.
What would Ronan think if he were around Julia in her mother’s company? Would he see what she saw — her mother negligent and self-absorbed? Or would he see what Julia had seen in Thomas Murphy: a human being who had made mistakes, but one whocared?
It was impossible to imagine. Julia hadn’t seen her mother in over a year. Even she didn’t know what it would belike.
“Were things… normal with your dad before Erin’s death? Before your mom died?” Ronan had told her about his mother’s death, his face a mask that made it clear it wasn’t something he wanted to discuss or even remember. She imagined long illnesses like cancer did that topeople.
