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It was unfamiliar territory, dangerouseven.
“I know you’re not stupid,” Declan said as she stepped into a pair of soft fleece bottoms. “This is the first time we’ve had to do something like this since you came back to Boston. The raid on Neil’s apartment was spearheaded by the FBI. This one won’t be. It will be me, Ronan, and Nick. We won’t know what we’re up against until we get inside. It will bedangerous."
She pulled on a long sleeve T-shirt and followed it with a soft cashmere cardigan while she worked up arebuttal.
She was going to Iceland — Declan just didn’t know ityet.
“I don’t have to go on the raid with you, assuming there even is one,” shesaid.
“Then why come at all?” Declan asked. “Why not stay here with Griff? I’ll keep youposted.”
“Oh, so now you want me to play housewife? Stay home with Griffin while you go towork?”
His blue eyes flashed. “That’s notfair.”
He was right. Declan had never expected her to keep the home fires burning while he worked. But the promise of a lead on Neil — on Beth — had intersected with the frustration that had been building inside her since they disappeared. She was desperate to be there when they caught Neil, to confront her sister, and desperation never made for wisedecisions.
She pulled the cardigan tighter and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just…” She hated that her voice trembled. “I just need togo.”
He stepped toward her and pulled her into hisarms.
She sank against him. He held her for a long time, and she savored the safety of his arms, the refuge of his chest under her ear, the smell of his cologne mingled with sweat and saltwater.
He kissed the top of her head. “I’m trying to keep yousafe.”
“I don’t need you to protectme.”
He pulled back and took her face in his hands. “I know that, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to, Kate. And it doesn’t mean there’s nothing tofear.”
“I’m not afraid of Neil Curran,” she said. “And I’m sure as hell not afraid ofBeth.”
What scared her more than either of them was the damage they could do if Declan didn’t find them, if she never got the closure she needed. Neil and Beth would be inside her head until that happened, eating away at her happiness, a looming storm cloud over every sunnyday.
She would always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, would always doubt herhappiness.
“I know that,” he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb. He pulled her down onto the bed next to him, their thighs touching. “But you should be afraid. And so should I. Neil and Beth are the most dangerous of enemies. Do you knowwhy?”
“Because they’re family,” shesaid.
There’s no enemy more dangerous than the one that once was yourfriend.
Her father’s voice came to her on a wisp of memory. Neil and Beth knew her, knew her secrets, knew her weakspots.
“That’s one reason,” Declan said. “And also, we don’t know what to expect. For all we know, Neil could be sitting on the sofa watching TV and eating takeout when we go in. He could also be holed up with enough men and weaponry to fight a small war. We’ll get as much information as we can before we go in — if we go in — but there’s no guarantee it will be enough, and that doesn’t even include the complication of Beth if she’s hiding out withNeil.”
He didn’t have to elaborate on that part. Kate was an expert on the complication ofBeth.
She looked down at her hands. “I get all of that. But Declan… I can’t just sit here.” She looked up at him. “I can do a lot of things. I can give you logistical support in Iceland. I can let you call the shots. I can stay away from the raid, if there is one. But don’t ask me to sit here and bake cookies while you go after the man who killed myfather.”
She wouldn’t bake cookies. They both knew that. But he was asking her to stay in Boston, to play the part of damsel in distress while he saved the day. He wasn’t saying it. He might not even have realized it himself — he’d always acknowledged her intelligence and strength— but his instinct to protect her was there because he thought she neededprotecting.
She didn’t. Not if she stayed out of the line offire.
“What about Griff?” Declanasked.
She recognized it for the last gasp it was, an attempt at giving her a reason to stay in Boston while he went to Iceland withouther.
“My mom will take care of him. It will befine.”
