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She laughed, her son’s voice wiping away her broodiness. “Hey, kiddo!What?”
“I get to bring Herman hometonight!”
Herman was Griffin’s class pet, a turtle that did little more than shuffle around his glass tank, burrowing through the sand in his tank and occasionally taking a dip in the tiny pool of water Ms. Holt, Griffin’s teacher, keptthere.
“Seriously? It’s your turn and I’m going to miss it?” Kate asked, feigningsorrow.
“I get to keep him for a week,” Griffin said. “Will you be back bythen?”
Her guilt came roaring back. What was she doing in Iceland? Did she really need to be here? Or was it just another attempt to control every facet of life, even now that she had a partner willing to lighten the load? It wasn’t like Declan didn’t know what he was doing, and it wasn’t like she was doing him any good sitting in thehouse.
She bit her lip. “I don’t know, Griff. I’ll try but it’s hard tosay.”
“I really want to show you Herman.” She imagined his pout, his mouth turned down at thecorners.
“I know, honey, and I’m sorry I’m not there. But I’ll talk to Gran and see if we can FaceTime while Herman’s there. That way I can meet him and you can tell me all about him. Soundgood?”
“Daddy too? I think he’ll likeHerman.”
“I’m sure your dad would love to meet Herman,” Katesaid.
“Awesome!”
She knew even without seeing his face that he was smilingagain.
Thank god fortechnology.
She heard her mom’s voice in thebackground.
“Gran says I have to brush my teeth and get ready for school,” Griffinsaid.
“Well, Gran is always right so you better go,” Kate said. “I love and miss you,buddy.”
She wondered again how it was possible to want to be with her son every minute while also relishing her time alone. Did every mother feel the push and pull of motherhood and independence? Were those moms who seemed so happy baking cookies secretly wishing they could be doing something else? Or was Kate just missing something, some primal maternal instinct that would have made her a bettermother?
“I love you too, Mommy. Here’sGran.”
There was a shuffle on the other end of the phone, followed by her mom instructing Griffin to brush his teeth right and a warning that she wouldcheck.
“Hi, honey,” her mom said when she’d finished talking toGriff.
“Is he okay? Really?” Kateasked.
“He’s fine. He’s just excited about the turtle. We’ll FaceTime you tomorrow after school and you can see Herman foryourself.”
“Am I scarring him for life?” Kate asked, only half joking. It was funny how the tension that had hovered between them for the past six months disappeared when Kate needed parentingadvice.
“Don’t be silly. What do you remember from being seven years old?” her momasked.
Kate thought about it. “Stealing Mary O’Brien’s special rock and not being scared ofworms.”
Her mom laughed. “I rest my case. Do what you need to do, Katie. He misses you but he’s happy and engaged. Everything is finehere.”
Kate sighed. “Okay,thanks.”
“How are things there?” her mom asked. “Anynews?”
“They’re fine. No news yet, but the woman Declan thinks is keeping Neil supplied with food and stuff is due to make another trip to the house tomorrow, so we’ll see what happens then,” Kate said, skirting thedetails.
