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“I should have told you sooner,” she said. “I should have talked to you about how I was feeling. But Logan, you know what it was like. We were all so poor, so adrift. I kept seeing the girls ahead of us in school graduate and end up dancing for money or doing porn or working some dead end job until they got pregnant. I couldn’t let that happen to myself.”
Logan turned to look at her, the anger drained from his face. “I get all of that, Ella. I just wish you would have told me. I would have gotten it then too.”
His voice was so sad, so full of loss that her own eyes filled with tears. “I know. I’m so sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter.” His voice was flat, and he forced a smile. She knew it was forced because it looked the same way it had always looked when Logan forced a smile. “Really. Let’s just let it go, Ella, focus on keeping you safe now.”
She nodded, blinking back her tears. She liked the other Logan better, the one who was sensitive and emotional, who admitted when he was hurt, who showed it.
“I appreciate you being here, Logan.” She reached for the door handle. “You didn’t have to come, but I’m glad you did. I always felt safe with you. I want you to know that. I still do.”
She opened the car door and stepped onto the street. She didn’t let the tears fall until she was back inside, the door closed firmly behind her.
11
Logan stared after her as she hurried across the street, sweater clutched around her body, head down.
He didn’t exhale until she closed the door behind her.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He hadn’t wanted to have that conversation. Not now anyway. Twenty years ago it would have been a different story.
Now it just messed with his head. Made him think about things he had no business thinking about, like the way Ella had felt in his arms and how he’d felt like the luckiest guy in the world when they’d been together and how he’d thought his heart would beat right out of his chest when he held her.
He raked a hand through his hair and cursed. He wished she hadn’t come out to the car. He didn’t want to see her the way she’d been, the way they’d been. It was easier to see her the way she’d been in her office — a high-powered career woman, driven, successful, a little hard.
That he could have worked with.
But the teary-eyed, sweet smelling woman who’d been in his car, who’d left her scent behind when she’d left, who’d looked at him with such sorrow and regret?
That he didn’t need.
This was a mistake. And by this, he meant all of it. Coming to Chicago, seeing Ella alone in her office, taking point on the job. Mauz easily could have handled it. Logan had let his heart get in the way, the same way he’d let his heart get in the way back in high school, when he’d assumed he and Ella would be together forever.
Even tonight, sitting in the car across from the house, was a mistake. He was there because he wanted to be close to Ella. Because being in her home had given him a glimpse of the life he’d always pictured for the two of them — a nice house and beautiful children.
Leo was special, just like Ella. He had her eyes and the same smile, the one that could light up the dark. He was smart and inquisitive, open and funny.
Sitting here across the street, he felt protective of them in a way that had nothing to do with Imperium.
In a way that was dangerous.
He grabbed one of the sandwiches and bit angrily into it. He needed to get out of here. Before he fucked his head in the name of Ella Perez for the second time in his life, a mistake he was too damn old to make again.
He stared at the burgundy Expedition down the street and thought about his call to Mauz earlier that night. He was probably already on his way into Chicago, if not already here, and he wouldn’t be alone.
The thought made Logan feel better. By morning, there would be six Imperium guards in the city, all of them perfectly capable of protecting Ella and Leo. Logan would get them settled, make sure they knew the drill, and make a swift exit, back to California where he belonged.
It would be better that way. For him and for Ella.
12
It was early when Gabriella finally gave up on sleep, throwing her feet over the edge of the bed with a tired sigh. Her bedroom was still dark, the house quiet, and she padded to the kitchen and started the coffee before looking out the window.
The Lexus was still there, but instead of Logan behind the wheel, she caught sight of Ford’s bearded face.
