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Giving myself over to Atlas,trusting him with my body and safety, felt like diving off a huge cliff. My stomach rolled with the motion, but the exhilaration and happiness I felt g tells me I did the right thing. A small part of me thinks it should be shame I’m feeling, but I don’t feel a hint of it.
Not unlike the auction, my body seemed to respond to him in a way I’ve never felt with someone before. Every small touch burns into my skin even now, and I’m led back to my room with sore legs and a smile hidden on my face.
Sleep comes easier that night, though, for some reason I have nightmares of burning buildings, and I wake up with Atlas’ face in my mind. I wonder if I dreamed that because of the burns on his face and wonder if I’ll ever feel comfortable enough to ask him about them.
I get the sense he uses them to keep people away, the imposing demeanour more of a facade.
I move around the room, feeling calmer than I ever have before, the knowledge and inner certainty that Atlas is coming back for me pumping my nerves.
I must have slept longer than usual because I don’t have to wait long before the familiar calls to get up break me from my daydreams. The lock clicks open but before I can reach the door, it swings inward and a familiar and unwelcome body steps in, closing it behind him.
“Why, hello, Vixen.” Eli grins.
“What are you doing here?” I say through frozen limbs. He’s across the room in a second, long hands wrapped around my throat. Choking, my hands fly up to pull him away, but he’s much stronger and only tightens his grip.
“That was rude, Vixen,” he says with narrowed eyes. He squeezes a fraction tighter and I feel a small crack in my neck before he lets me go, pushing me back so I land on the cot. My hand comes up to my throat, but I don’t take my eyes off him as he paces in front of me, the cool smile still on his face. He chuckles lightly.
“Why am I here, she asks,” he says. “Stupid girl. We own you. I own you. This room is not yours, your body is not yours.”
“I’m not yours,” I say through renewed vigour.
A week ago, I never would have dreamed of talking back to Eli. Even now, his threats echo in my mind. I’ll never forget how he had me sprawled out naked on camera, the evil things he whispered to me day after day.
Atlas’ words from the day before has me sitting up straighter.
“This you? This fire? It suits you.”
The way the mirth leaves Eli’s face would be humorous if not for the position I’m in and I wonder when the last time someone talked back to him was. It takes a second for him to school his face and when he does, I’m surprised to see the humour back rather than the anger I’d expect.
“Oh, no? But you are someone’s, aren’t you, my silver Vixen? The Iron Elite’s, yes. Perhaps, Atlas’ too?”
My lips stay tight and I swallow, but my chin goes up a fraction. I won’t be ashamed of that. Eli chuckles and takes a step toward me. Still on the cot, I don’t move but wish I was standing, not liking how small I feel with him over me. His hand comes down and traces the shape of my face but doesn’t touch me. His smirk grows, his voice low.
“You think that I’m the monster, don’t you?” His eyes widen a touch as they study my face before he laughs again. “Oh, Vixen, do you know the man you think will save you? I know he was here yesterday, did he tell you where he was going after?”
Eli quirks an eyebrow before pulling out his phone. My eyes fall to the familiar looking device with longing. I remember being able to pull out my phone any time, play a game or look on social media. It feels like so long since I’ve seen such a mundane thing.
Eli scrolls a moment before his smile grows and he turns the screen over to me. Despite myself, I look and try to keep my expression blank as I look over the image and the news article in front of me.
“Five Dead in Fire, Suspected Arson”
I scan the first paragraph before turning my eyes back to Eli.
“You’re lying,” I say needlessly. He doesn’t reply immediately, just clicks the phone off and puts it back in his pocket. Sighing, he leans down so his face is only inches from mine. I turn my head away, scrunching up my shoulders.
“Don’t worry, Vixen, I won’t take you today, I’ll leave you to the real monster instead. Don’t worry, though, I won’t forget about you,” he whispers in my ear.
I’m left in my room following Eli’s visit and as messed up as it sounds, I wish I was at The Middle with the other girls. At least it would be better than being stuck in my own head.
Eli’s words play over in my head, the heading of that article ringing like a gong.
I was quick to trust Atlas’ action over his appearance, and though even the idea of him fills me with good feelings, that doesn’t mean he’s a good man. If being here has taught me anything, it's how deceiving looks and perceptions can really be.
The next day,my stomach is a ball of nerves as I wait for the guards to call for us, wondering if I’ll get another visit. I grew complacent and comfortable in the time Eli stayed away, but since he came to see me it’s easier to remember where I am, what’s really happening to me. The small moments with Atlas dulled me, made it easier to forget.
Forgetting is dangerous.
My body’s apparent willingness to succumb to him is dangerous.
