Page 56 of Her Last Audition


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“Fuck,” I mutter, letting go of her chin and running a hand down my face. I look up at her again. “What is it? What aren’t you saying?”

She lets out a small sigh and puts the cup down before turning back to me, though she doesn’t look at my face.

“What did you do the night after we last…when you last visited?” she finally asks and my eyes narrow.

“What did you say?”

Her lip quivers again, but she looks up at me, a bit of that familiar fire returning.

“You heard what I asked. What did you do?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

She swallows and I take a step closer, closing the gap between us. My hand comes up and traces the edge of her face.

“Why are you acting fucking terrified of me right now?” I all but whisper and she looks away.

“Please, just answer my question,” she begs. My teeth clench and I stand up straight.

“I think you know the answer,” I reply, not really caring about the coldness in my voice at the moment.

She glances back at me and I see judgement in her eyes.

“If you’ve got a fucking problem, spit it out.”

Her lips thin and I scoff, shaking my head. Fuck this, fucking woman nonsense. I start to turn away before she speaks.

“How could you do it?” she asks. I feel the rage in my blood boil over and I turn back and lean forward, pointing a finger toward her.

“What I did, I did for you,” I all but spit at her. “So drop the fucking judgement and the fucking scared act. You think I’m going to hurt you or something? After the shit I’ve done to get you out of there? Fuck! The world isn’t fucking perfect, princess, and people aren’t fucking good. Get used to it.”

“I never asked for any of this!” she shouts back, surprising me. “I didn’t ask you to...”

Her anger seems to crack and tears well in her eyes.

“There were children,” she finishes lamely as the tears burst free.

My jaw clenches and I tap down the instant guilt. I can’t fucking have that shit in my life. Do I like some of the stuff I have to do? Of fucking course not. But sometimes, we do things we don’t want to. In particular, for people we...

I breathe out through my nose. “You’ll never understand this world,” I say, as much to myself as to her. “You’ll be back home and to your old life soon enough.”

With that, I walk out.

30

Kinsey

Unclear

I wipemy face fiercely as he stalks out of the room. I can’t help but feel the smallest stab of guilt for what I said, but I push it down quickly. I have nothing to feel bad about. He’s the one who just admitted to killing innocent people.Children.

He did it for you, a stupid voice tells me, and I promptly order it to shut up. If I had known during my captivity that other lives were the price for my freedom, I would have stayed. How anyone could fathom differently makes no sense to me, but I suppose there is one thing Atlas said that’s true.

People aren’t good.

I think back to some of the things Jay told me about Atlas last night, but none of it can counter what he’s done. Still, I saw the hurt in his eyes and even though he deserves it, I don’t think he was lying when he said he did it for me. Not that it makes it better, but at least it doesn’t seem like he wanted to do it.

I shake my head. What am I thinking? There’s no justification.

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