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“Sssh,” Dmitri’s voice instantly helps calm me, though my heart is still pounding erratically in my chest. I blink a few times so my eyes can adjust.
“Father will kill you if he finds you in my room!” I hiss at him, pushing his chest. He doesn’t move an inch from his perch on the edge of my bed. “What are you doing in here?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, and I’m about to continue to scold him when his warm lips connect with mine. Unlike Father’s lips, Dmitri’s are soft and giving. My mouth moves automatically, kissing him back until my eyes open with a start, and I scramble back from my half-brother.
“What are you doing?” I ask again, my voice louder and shriller despite the danger we’ll both be in if we get caught.
He moves forward quickly, putting a hand over my mouth. I swallow deeply and nod before he removes his hand just enough to caress the side of my face, holding my chin to look at him.
“I love you,” he tells me. “And I will always do what I can to save you. We both know that he’s been getting worse, between the drinking and … well, all of it. Father can’t sell your virginity if you don’t have it.”
My eyes widen in understanding, a flush of unwanted heat rising to my core as I realize what Dmitri is suggesting.
“You’re my….”
“It doesn’t matter,” he whispers against my lips. “Wouldn’t you rather give it to me than have it ripped away by him? Your birthday is only days away.”
His eyes bore into mine as he says this, and in them shine back the love he’s always given me. Where Maxim would say I wasn’t even his sister at all because we don’t share the same father, that’s never mattered to Dmitri. He’s always taken care of me, loved me, even though it caused him grief with his brothers and Father because of it.
And now he’d risk his own life to save my innocence. To at least give me some semblance of choice, at least this once.
“Don’t you…” His voice cracks, disclosing the boy beneath the man’s body. “Don’t you love me too?”
My hand covers his which are still resting on my face, and I nuzzle into it. He shifts to bring his lips down to mine, and as much as I know I should pull away, I can’t. It feels so right. We’ve always been close. What will it matter if we’re that much closer?
“Have you done this before?” I ask suddenly, pulling back to look at him. He pauses, running his hands through his hair. The little piece I like falls into his eyes.
“Not …. not by choice,” he admits as I try to ignore the brick that just landed in my belly.
“I’m sorry he took that from you,” I say softly.
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter now. At least I can give you a choice.”
It doesn’t matter that he’s my half-brother or if we’re caught, we’ll both die.
It doesn’t matter that Father will find out that I’ve taken from him what he intends to sell. To deny him that is worth dying for.
The brief nod I give him is enough for a small light to brighten his eyes. He leans his mouth back down to mine but Father’s words and the memory of the threads shutting my mouth come back in a rush, causing me to pull my head to the side. Firm hands grip my chin and force my gaze up to his.
“I won’t hurt you, and I won’t let him hurt you either,” he promises before bringing his mouth down to mine again. After a second of panic, my pulse starts to slow down, and I feel myself relax into his kiss. His hand caresses my face and hair, cherishing me in a way I’ve never felt before.
I can’t seem to pull myself from his lips, and it doesn’t take long for our kisses to deepen as his hands begin to roam my body. I feel myself quiver as his hand runs down my arms, tracing the shape of each finger.
“You’re so soft,” he mutters against my mouth, pausing just barely when his fingers brush the circular scars along my arm.
My nipples are rock hard, pressed into his chest as his hand finds my knee, moving slowly up my inner thigh. The underwear I own are thread barren, and when fingers delicately trace my mound, I let out a gasp. Dmitri’s breath picks up speed as his fingers easily tears through the thin fabric. Our eyes meet as his finger finds my slit, then I feel a flush of warmth when his finger finds the small nub at the top.
His eyes are heated, and his mouth opens as he tentatively explores my folds in a way only I have before. When he touches me, though, it's completely different than when I do it. The anticipation of each touch is more than I can bear, and my leg shakes against him.
I’ve never wanted to be with anyone when I’ve done this myself and I find myself craving things that once disgusted me.
“We don’t have much time,” I remind him softly, and he gives me a short nod before pulling my panties down. Scrambling off the bed, he pulls off his own thin pants, and I strain to see him in the darkness. The outline of his body is visible but that’s it and he finds mine quickly, his lips pressed to mine as I feel his hardness against my thigh.
I reach down a hand to touch him, but he grabs my wrist, putting it above my head before I can. He shifts and moves between my legs, his forehead staying against mine as he lines up his length against me. I feel my core clench in anticipation and suck in a breath as he slowly pushes in.
I don’t think he’s all the way in when he stops, both of our breaths ragged and loud in the otherwise silent room. As he looks down at me, something crackles between us that’s never been there before. Before I can process that, he pushes in, a cry ripping from my lungs. I feel something inside me tear and I have to bite into his shoulder to keep from making noise.
“Are you okay?” he whispers into my hair. I manage to give a choked nod of agreement.
“Yes, don’t stop,” I rasp out as I cling to Dmitri. Despite the pain, the closeness, the oneness, is incredible.
If this is wrong, I never want to be right.
