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I'm meeting Carmen, a vibrant 24 year old with pink hair. She and her two roommates are looking for a fourth and so far, it's been my favorite house today. It's the third one I've been to but the vibe is on point. I woke up to offers of house visits so my day has been filled with inspecting and meeting new people.
The first house was a bit creepy – a guy in his 30's who lived alone. And the second bunch seemed as though they were miserable sods. But this house, this is the one.
"It's great. How much do you need upfront?" I ask.
"Four weeks rent up front, then just pay weekly. We all work different hours so most of the time, there's only one of us here."
The four bedroom house is near the main street, close to the fried chicken shop. It's an older style house, but well looked after. The timber has been newly painted and it's tidy, meaning the occupants aren't messy slobs.
"I'm definitely keen. When would I be able to move in?"
Carmen laughs, her brown eyes full of life. "Whenever. Today if you want!"
Her laughter and energy is infectious and I can't help but grin. It feels like home already.
"I've just got to go back and get my stuff but if you give me your bank details, I'll transfer the money. I can't wait, honestly."
She cheers, clapping her hands together. "That's so good! Here, give me your number and I'll text them to you."
We exchange details before I head back to the motel. I'm going to go get my belongings tomorrow – or at least, the things I need. Asher will be at college all day so the house will be empty. I'll worry about the furniture when I get back here. I'll have to dip a bit into the savings to get a mattress, but it's worth it.
Freedom doesn't have a price on it.
The entire drive back I'm left with a heavy pit in my stomach. It's not the thought of leaving, but the thought of who I'm leaving behind. But I need to do this.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I notice Asher's car is not there, and neither is Gareth's, which means they are still at the ranch. I'll have to send mom a message in a few days to let her know. I'm sure that conversation is going to go down well, but I'm an adult and moving out of the family home is normal.
Backing my car up to the steps, I park it so I can easily put my shit in. I don't worry about noise as I head inside, making it my mission to get my stuff and get back onto the road as soon as possible.
My bedroom is almost exactly how I left it. Except it's also not.
I can smell his cologne, the scent lingering faintly. It's as if he's recently been in here, searching for something that's missing.
I grab a small suitcase from my walk-in closet, dumping it on the bed. I start piling clothes in, just the basics that I wear everyday. Next, I get my laptop and other personal belongings. Just the necessities – everything else is insignificant. I don't need everything from this life. I'll rebuild over time, making my lifemineinstead of living someone else's dream.
My belongings fit easily in the trunk when I put them in. I just need to grab some bedding then I'm out of here.
When I enter the room again, I smell it again. But it's almost as if the scent is stronger this time. I'm convinced my mind is playing tricks on me, seeking refuge or a reason to stay.
But sometimes our reason to stay, is also the reason we run.
I grab my pillow and start rolling up the duvet, doing my best to neatly fold it. It's heavy, and the black material makes folding it into something resembling a square difficult.
"There, you fucker," I curse at it as I finally get it sorted. I plop my pillow on top of the pile, grabbing it in my arms.
I turn around to head to the door when I find Asher standing inside my room, watching me with a furious expression. The bedding hits the floor as I gasp, startled.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I ask, frozen in place.
Asher looks angry. It's unnerving, his grey eyes narrowing as he looks at me, then the duvet. He looks around, and I know he's taking note of my missing belongings that are now securely in my car.
When he looks back at me, he crosses his arms, his biceps bulging. "Are you seriously just leaving?"
My heart is beating incredibly fast, pounding in my chest as I struggle to find words.
"I told you I wasn't coming back. I meant it. I just needed to get my shit," I blurt out.
Asher steps towards me. "After everything we've been through, you're still planning on leaving?" he asks angrily.
