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Kat’s words surfaced as the wind picked up outside. A pang of pain drove through my chest. “I’m sorry, Fin. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Lucky for him it’d never come to that.
I sat there, leaving Kat asleep while the afternoon slowly grew into dusk and the sky continued to darken. Then I rose, grabbed my bag and slowly started to pack. I took only what I needed, folding a warm jacket and stowing it in my backpack. Apart from a windbreaker, the rest of my stuff would stay. I thought of what would happen tomorrow when Kat realized I was gone. I thought of leaving her a note, but what would I say?Sorry, Kat, I love you, but please don’t come and try to find me.Muscles along the back of my neck tensed, the deep throb on an oncoming migraine started. I was already a ghost, already hunkered under the tarpaulin and being speared away toward Dad.
The faint snarl of thunder drew my gaze. Through the tinted windows, the sky was black. It was still early,too early.I sat back down, my bag beside me on the bed, and brought up the photos of Finley.
There were three…
Three photos I'd taken when he wasn’t looking.
They weren’t of anything in particular. Him sitting behind the wheel of his sleek, black Camaro. He looked fierce and powerful. He looked more like his father there, relentless…commanding.My pulse sped. I knew him now, knew him more than I’d ever known him before. I moved on to the next, the one taken as he hugged his mom.
Agony moved through my chest at the sight. His mom, who'd been taken from him.
We had too much in common now.
Far too close to home.
Maybe that’s why I'd done what I had the other night…calling him, urging him to show me more of himself. Heat moved through me as the memory of his body came alive inside my mind. Jesus, I’d never seen anything so beautiful in my damn life. The way he worked his body with his hand, the way he'd stared into my eyes, his fueled with pain and desperation.So fucking raw.That’s how he was. So beautiful and raw. If only things had been different.
Love like that only happens in fairytales.
Kat’s words hit harder than ever before. She was right. There was no such thing as love. Not like that…and not in this world. There was only death…only destruction. The screen of my phone blurred with asplat.I lifted my hand and brushed my tears away. That ache inside me grew with the low rumble of thunder until I couldn’t stand the waiting any more.
It was after nine now, who knew how long it’d take me to get to where I needed to be?
I rose from the bed, shrugged on my windbreaker, and zipped it high before grabbing my bag and making my way to the back of the apartment. There was a small balcony facing the coast of the island, one that led to a ladder fixed against the wall. I swallowed hard and turned my head at the sound of Kat’s soft snores. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I stepped away, my heart heavier than it’d ever been in my life.
I moved faster, the lump in the back of my throat throbbing and aching. I slid open the door and closed it behind me, waiting for a moment to stare at the heavy steel ladder.You can do this…come on…Dad’s waiting.My hands shook as I neared the railing, gripped the cold steel, and swung my leg over it.
I was terrified, my knees shaking, as I reached across, grabbed the ladder, and stepped.
A small, frightened sound tore free as the wind slapped my face. I pressed my body flat against the ladder, the cold steel burning against my cheek as I closed my eyes and waited for death. But my hands gripped like a vise, fingers clenched tightly around the rung, and when my knees finally relaxed enough to release, I slowly lowered myself.
One step at a time. I stopped, sucked in harsh breaths, and kept on moving, lower and lower until a blur in the darkness sharpened, turning into the thick palms that crowded the rear of the apartment building. One last step, and my boot hit the ground.
With a trembling hand, I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. The climb had taken longer than I'd expected. My cheeks burned, stung from the wind as I scanned the darkness, catching the faint light spilling from inside the foyer, and stepped away. The sound of my steps was swallowed by the faint boom of thunder as it growled all around me.
I lifted my head as the flicker of lightning danced behind thick black clouds. With my pulse booming in my ears, I hurried, making my way to the pavement, my backpack firmly fixed on my back. The map of the island on my phone was all I had to guide my way.
I pushed the image of Finley’s face from my mind and hurried my strides until I was almost running. I focused on my dad, every pounding beat of my heart driving home the desperation to keep him safe.
He was all that mattered to me.
All that I focused on as aboomcracked directly above me. I looked at the map again, hurting and making my way along the island. I was taking too long…far too long. Minutes slipped away until it was well after ten. I jerked my gaze from the map, my jaw clenched tight as I ran along the path until my steps stumbled, my boots hitting soft earth instead of hard concrete.
The path had ended. I glanced over my shoulder at the faint sparkle of lights in the distance. Fire lashed my lungs as I sucked in the salty air. I was too far gone now, too far for me to turn back, even if I wanted to.
And I didn’t want to.
With the memory of my father’s blood-splattered shirt burning in my mind, I pushed on, inching closer and closer, the flashes of lightning chasing me. The island curved away in the distance. I pressed the button on my phone with trembling fingers, illuminating the map once more. It was up ahead, just a little further to go.
I pushed on, driving my boots into the ground as the soft dirt became sand.
I scanned the darkness as I made my way down to the small cove, searching for the faintest flicker of boat lights against the inky black waves. But there was none. My heart punched higher, clawing into the back of my throat, as I stumbled across the soft sand and made my way to the shoreline.
I glanced at my phone…it was just after eleven.
