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It’s so strange, the numbness I go through when someone calls me beautiful. I’m so used to it that it doesn’t even raise my heartbeat or, least of all, make me blush.
“I know,” I nod. “Quite a sight.” It makes him chuckle, as if I was pretending to know I’m beautiful.
“Alright, Miss Beautiful, do you want my address, or should I pick you up?”
Fuck, he is such a dick. I like it.
“Not even gonna buy me a drink first?” I mock him. I’m making this way too easy for him.
“You can drink plenty at my house where no one from the faculty can see us.”
That makes me snicker.
“I’ll think about it,” I say before leaving.
* * *
My phone rings as I light up a cigarette. I showed up twenty minutes late, and I’ve been waiting for the asshole for ten minutes. I don’t know why I’m still here. It’s not the thrill of fucking someone older; I’ve done that too many times to count. Maybe the teacher thing? I never had sex with a teacher while we were at Stoneview Prep. Is it because I’m still bitter about Rachel? Because I hate when she doesn’t make time for me?
Or maybe it’s just that I’m a sucker for attention. I rarely refuse someone if it’s the first time they’re giving me attention. It’s when they come back that I struggle. I blame it on the parents abandoning me and all that shit. Surely that’s what fucked me up.
Or it could be because that big, tall guy, covered with tattoos, reminds me of someone I wish I had fucked. With his black, styled-back hair and dark eyes, it’s too hard not to think of the guy I’ve spent my life fantasizing about. Sam. So yeah, I’m still waiting for Mr. Replacement. And I’ll let him fuck me how he wants while I imagine it’s my childhood hero. While I close my eyes and see him as the guy I now hate.
On the last ring, I take my phone out of my pocket. My breath steams in the cold night when I pick up.
“Hey, Chris.”
“How is college treating you?”
I can hear some music and chatter behind him. “Don’t call me when you’re at a party,” I huff. “Enjoy yourself, for fuck’s sake.”
“I will. As soon as I hear about my best friend’s freshman experience.”
“Wonderful,” I deadpan.
“Please, don’t sound so enthusiastic.”
“I go to all my classes. Are you happy,daddy?”
He hisses with annoyance. “Don’t call me that.”
I laugh at his reaction and almost choke on the smoke from my cigarette. “Fuck, sorry. I forgot that makes you hard.”
“Not when it comes from you. Can we go back to your day?”he huffs.
“It’s all going fine,” I reassure him. “So much information evenIdon’t think I’ll be able to remember it all.”
“Wait until next year,”he chuckles.“What are you doing now?”
“Waiting for you to hang up so I can go back to reading my book.”
“Funny that. I didn’t know you read your books outside on a busy street now.I can hear you’re outside, Rose.”
I roll my eyes at how observant he is. That’s annoying. “I’m using our call time to buy a pack of cigarettes. Want me to share my location or something? Or should I just implant myself with a tracking device?”
That gets me another huff, and I feel a bit bad. I know he’s just trying to protect me. I just don’t really want to be protected.
“Alright, I get it,”he finally gives up.“You do whatever you want. Have fun, just…you know the people you meet on the North Shore aren’t exactly the sweetest, so please be careful.”
