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He grabs the waistband of my pants with a mighty hand and pulls me toward him aggressively. I have to put two hands on his chest to avoid crashing into him completely.
Goosebumps rise all over my skin. I can’t be this close to him.
His scent invades me, his warmth burning through my clothes.
He runs his hand all around my waist, making sure I don’t have another gun hidden there.
“Do you have any idea how much I hate you?” he rasps. A hint of humanity crosses his black eyes, disappearing just as fast as it came.
Six months ago, Sam almost died because of me. It was my fault. I made that decision for a reason. I just never thought I’d have to put up with the consequences. Now, there’s a rage in his eyes. A thirsty vengeance he’s dying to quench.
My throat is dry when I answer him. “I can only imagine it’s almost as much as I hate you.” My entire body is trembling with an anger that has no outlet.
I observe his tall, large frame. He’s wearing his usual black tee and black jeans. His tattoos are peeking anywhere they can. He’s covered in them. They creep up from under his shirt on his arms, hands, and fingers. His neck is covered and so are the sides of his head. The tattoos are visible through the short, shaven hair. He looks exactly like he did the day I got taken.
His whole life, he’s had the same style, the same haircut with his short sides and slicked-back, longer hair at the top. It’s black, like mine. It’s the only thing we have in common. His eyes are black holes, while mine are a dark ocean. His skin is pale in contrast to my golden one. His thick muscles could break my skinny frame so effortlessly.
His fingers splay between my shoulders while his other hand runs between my breasts. Couldn’t hide anything there even if I tried. His face twitches when he realizes I’m not wearing a bra.
It’s only when he’s done that it clicks: I didn’t even try to stop him.
He pushes me away and my hands go back into fists. As soon as I’m out of his orbit, Rachel reappears in my line of vision.
My nails are leaving crescents on my palms and I’ve got a headache building at the back of my eyes. For the first time in my life, I tell myself that I prefer Sam when he is silent. When he keeps his dark thoughts to himself. I never heard those kinds of words from him. I always heard them out of Mateo, out of my older brother. But not Sam, never Sam.
He was my savior, my one and only growing up. When the darkness grew too thick, when the pain was too much, he was always there. Holding my hand, making me laugh, promising it would be okay. And now here he is, ordering me around and blackmailing me like all the monsters around me used to.
“Where are the Volkovs?” he asks like I haven’t already told him I didn’t know.
“I have no idea,” I grit. “Sam, let her go,” I try to reason with him.
I can’t fucking focus when there’s a gun to her head. When that idiot could shoot her by accident. What would I become then? My life would mean nothing without Rachel in it. I’m fucking willing to be her dirty secret while she marries someone else. Nothing can come between this woman and me.
I shake my head, trying not to spiral down the worst-case scenario. “Let her go, and we can talk. I’ll tell you everything I know, but it doesn’t include where they hide because that Idon’tknow.”
I’m hoping he can see honesty in my eyes. I try as hard as I can to keep my gaze on the black marbles staring at me, but I just can’t help getting lost in Rachel’s baby blue eyes. They’re so pure, so undeserving of the evil surrounding her right now.
“At least put the fucking gun down.” I hate myself right now. I hate the sound of my voice. I hate the weakness emanating from my body.
He takes another step toward me, and I have to dig more strength from Rachel’s eyes to stay still. For the first time in my life, I see what everyone else sees in Sam.
He isterrifying.
“You don’t know where they are?” He fakes a pout. “Well, you and I are going to have a lot of fun looking for them then, aren’t we?” He smiles like he’s thinking of all the things he’ll do to them when he finds them. “This is a huge contract. I’ll kill them for the money. Then I’ll kill you, just because I hate you.”
I wish I were the kind of person who can bend to one’s will. I wish I could take threats seriously and know what’s best for me. It would have kept me out of much trouble in my life. I would probably be dumb and happy.
But I can’t.
No, when someone tries to take control, my brain refuses to accept it. My body rebels, my nerves set on fire, and I just want tofight.
I take a step toward him, too, challenging him when I know it’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever done. We’re so close I can feel his warmth against my cold skin. I used to love that about him just like I love it about Rachel. They’re so warm.
His cologne of grapefruit, patchouli, and cedar invades my nostrils and I curse myself for enjoying it so much. The hint of cigarettes behind it makes me want to give into my own addiction to nicotine. Worse, deep down, it makes me want to give into my addiction to Sam.
“Tell me,” I fume. “Why would I help you with anything if I know you’ll just end up killing me when you’re done with me?”
He shakes his head like a parent disappointed with their brainless progenitor. “You just don’t know when to give up, do you? That was always your problem, you just don’t process danger. You don’t get when you’ve lost. Your pride will be the end of you one day. Today, it might just be the end of Rachel.”
