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“He wants to marry me,” I choke on my sobs. “He can’t do that! You have to tell him he can’t do that!”
His hand slips into my hair and he slowly undoes my ponytail.
“You have to do something, Sam.”
“We’ll get you out of here, I promise, lovebug.”
The familiar nickname calms my heart and stills my fears. Something electrifying yet reassuring lights up in me every time he says it. It feels warm and comfortable. Like pulling the covers up to your chin on a cold night. It gives me the strength to ask for what I never have before.
“I want to leave now. When you go home tonight, take me with you.”
“I can’t,” he admits. “My dad…”
“Your dad can’t be worse than Mateo.”
There’s a long silence as he rubs circles over my back. “It doesn’t matter who’s worse. They’re both monsters. You can’t leave one for another.”
I push away from him and kneel on my bed, right next to his face. “Then let’s both leave.”
“You’re hurt and scared, and you’re forgetting about your brothers.”
I shake my head violently. “They’ll join us. The four of us…” I stop when I realize how ridiculous my idea is. “He’ll find us,” I admit. “He’ll always find us.”
“Not if he’s dead.”
“Would you do it? Would you kill Mateo for me?”
He sits up and grabs my hands. His dark gaze settles on me. I like the way Sam looks at me, it always makes me feel warm inside. It always makes me ache to touch him. He squeezes my hand in his and gives me a curt nod. “I’d do anything for you, lovebug.”
20
ROSE
@ my worst- blackbear
Today
We’re still in the same spot, but we dropped to the floor at some point. I’m behind Rachel, holding her close to me, her hands in mine. I direct one of her hands behind my neck and guide her over the scars.
M.B.
It’s not a tattoo or anything else that could be altered. No, it’s branded on me in a way I could never forget.
I don’t have the strength to calm down Rachel’s sobs. She wanted my story. She got it—at least the part before we moved to the Murrays.
“How did you leave?” she rasps. “How did you end up at the Murrays?”
Dread overcomes my body because this is the part I never wanted her to know.
“I did something bad.”
“What?” She tries to turn around, but I keep my grip on her firm. I can’t look in her eyes while I admit what I did.
“I shot Nate.”
She stills, but I already sense her forgiving nature warming up the air around us.
“And I don’t want you to excuse my actions because you know he’s still alive. I don’t want you to lie to yourself thinking I didn’t really kill him. Because, believe me, back then, I intended to. When we met, Sunshine, I truly thought I had killed my own brother and felt free from it. The guilt only came later.”
