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She takes another step, forcing me to back away until I hit the kitchen island.
I shake my head, completely denying what she’s trying to say. What is the point of all this? Sam wants me and the Volkov brothers dead, and he’s willing to hurt her to get what he wants. This is all going to explode at some point, and she shouldn’t be by my side when it does. Being alone has always worked for me. Sex and pushing people away are how I function, and it’s never failed me. I’m not about to change this now, not when my life only gets worse by the minute. Not when Sam thinks he can use me as his brand-new puppet.
Not when her life is at risk.
“Stop, Rach. Stop trying to fix me. You keep thinking you can help, but every time you mend something, another piece will tear. I’m bursting at the seam with unfixable issues.” I turn away when she gets too close. “You think it’s bad? It’ll get worse. And what will you do then? What will you love when there’s nothing left of the girl you know? Or worse, when it’s exactly the girl you’re refusing to accept I am.”
“Then I’ll keep loving you!” she rages. “And when it gets worse, I’ll love you more. You’re so blinded by your trauma that you can’t see what’s right in front of you. I’ll love you through everything, Rose. I’ll love you until the light in your eyes shines bright again and then some more.”
“Rose,” she says more calmly as she cages me in with her hands on either side of me. Her eyes are a light blue, as light as I feel when I’m around her. Her fair skin should always have my mark,always. Just to make sure everyone knows she belongs to me before them. Her lips are pink, the top one thinner and currently pressing against the bottom one. She brings her face closer to mine, whispering her truth in my ear. “We were meant to find each other. How have you not figured that one out yet?”
“How can you still want me?” I rasp. “Look at me.”
She pulls away slightly, and her eyes roam over my face.
“I mean,lookat me,” I insist. “This kind of beauty doesn’t exist. It’s not real. It’s only compensated by an ugly, destroyed interior.” I grab a hair tie around my wrist and pull my hair up in a messy bun. I turn my head as far as I can, showing her the scar I had her touch earlier. “This isn’t beautiful, Rachel. This is what I look like on the inside.”
“He might have destroyed you, but I will spend the rest of my life putting you back together.” She says it with such conviction that my heart skips a beat, starting to desire something insane and believing her. I face her again, my head falling against her shoulder, burying into her neck.
“You love so hard,” I whisper as I inhale her perfume. “Why do you love so hard?”
“Because you’re so easy to love,” she murmurs back.
21
ROSE
Put It on Me– Matt Maeson
Slowly, my mouth kisses its way up her neck, her jaw, her mouth, just to land on her soft lips. Mine are plumper than hers, and I quickly take over our kiss, swallowing her soft whimper and covering her mouth. Our tongues come out at the same time, licking the other and sharing the kind of love I don’t deserve—the kind Rachel wants to impose on us through sheer passion.
She pushes my t-shirt above my head as I take off her blouse completely. I undo her bra and bring it down her arms, letting it drop to the floor. She grabs me under my hips and helps me up on the kitchen bar. Exchanging the positions we had earlier. While she kisses my breasts, licking at them with a softness we never truly experienced, I fight against my zipper to get rid of my jeans, stopped too often by my body shuddering under the pleasure she spreads in me.
She helps me take my jeans and panties off, and I help her in return. Only when we’re utterly naked do my eyes focus on the bruises on her ribs. They’re purple, some of them even swollen. Sam and Lik will die for what they did. I just need to figure out how to get rid of them.
Her hands spread my thighs, her fingers slide between my lips, and I exhale a sigh.
She must sense my anger because she whispers softly, “Focus on this,” as her thumb comes to rub my clit. I inhale a shaky breath and my head falls back. “Focus on us, Rose.”
“Shit,” I moan as she presses slightly harder, making slow circles, forcing my hips to try and pick up the pace.
She licks my left nipple and gently nibbles at the bud. “Do you know what love is?” she whispers against it. I have a very small scar there, from a time when she cut me. It’s tiny compared to some other ones I bear from the men who have hurt me, but it holds so much more meaning.
I shake my head ‘no’, choosing honesty over meaninglessly telling her I love her. I do; I do love her, I’m just not sure what it means.
“It’s the smell of your perfume and the cigarettes you smoke.” She moves to my other breast, still keeping a slow pace against my clit and making me writhe with need.
“It’s the color of your eyes when you look at me.”
She grabs the stool next to her and sits on it. My hands are holding the edge of the island so tightly, one beside each of my thighs. I have no room to lie back, and I have to sit up and watch her as she puts her hand in the crease behind my knees.
“It’s the butterflies that escape us when we kiss,” she tells me as she lowers herself, dropping a kiss just above my clit. I tremble and try to push myself closer to her. She spreads my legs further apart.
“It’s how wet your pussy gets for me, the sound of your moans and the electricity between us.”
She licks me with a flat tongue from just below my entrance to the nub she’s been teasing for long minutes.
I moan exactly as she expected. “Love, Rose, is the person you choose.” She grazes her teeth against my clit, forcing a zap of electricity from her mouth to my heart, lighting up every nerve. “And I chose you, baby.”
