Page 36 of Monstrous Truths


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“I know you do.” She yawns as I carry her upstairs and gently settle her in the bed before stripping off her shoes and tucking her in, but tonight, I don’t get in next to her. I need to keep my distance, because it is going to hurt like hell when she goes back.

It will destroy me in a way nothing ever has, because even now, after a few days, I cannot imagine my life without her.

Hours later, as I’m struggling and failing to work, I hear a noise. I rush to her side to see her kicking in her sleep—a nightmare. I stroke her hair away from her face and lean down. “Shh, Tally, you’re safe, everything is fine. You’re safe,” I promise, and she slowly wakes up, blinking.

“Cato?” she asks sleepily.

“It was just a bad dream,” I tell her. “Go back to sleep.” I stand, but her hand darts out and grabs mine.

“Sleep with me, please?” she begs, her big eyes imploring me, and I can’t deny her anything she wants, even if it will make it so much harder to let her go.

Slipping into the bed next to her, I keep some distance between us, but she slides over and buries herself in my arms.

“Tally.” I try to pull away, but she just lies in my arms with her legs between mine. She’s oblivious to the reaction it creates in my body and my internal struggle, but I refuse to move away.

“What was your dream about?” I ask, and she stiffens in my arms, so I pull back to see her face, spotting the tears in her eyes. “Tally, talk to me!” I demand, running my hands over every inch of her to check for injuries. She laughs and wipes at her eyes before patting my chest.

“I’m not hurt.”

I relax, but only marginally. Her tears are like a physical blow to my already aching heart.

“It’s just…tonight and then last night with the kids.” She shakes her head.

“You don’t like kids?” I inquire, confused.

“No, no, I love them!” she replies before sighing and meeting my eyes. “I can’t have them. I always wanted kids, but they told me I might never have them.”

“Oh, Tally.” I pull her closer, wrapping my arms around her as I kiss her head. She cries into my chest, sounding so pained that it rips my heart to shreds. When she calms a little, I pull back and wipe her face before meeting her eyes. “I’m sorry, I truly am, but just because you cannot have them biologically doesn’t mean you can’t have them if you don’t want to. There are other ways—”

“I know that,” she whispers.

“The kids here are all of ours, despite who bears them. We are all a family with responsibilities,” I explain, “but you would be an incredible part of that.” I could see that now, her looking after the kids…but what if it hurts? “Would you like me to ask them to stop making you read to them?”

“No! Please don’t.”

I sense the pain there, so I pull her closer. “I could never deny you anything, I just don’t like seeing you hurt. But, Tally, you think this makes you less than. It doesn’t. You are still Talia. You are still a woman. An incredibly brave, smart, funny, kind, and sometimes stubborn woman.”

“Cato.” She tries to stop me, but I force her to look at me.

“This changes nothing,” I promise, and it doesn’t. Yes, I want kids, and the idea of Talia carrying my kids is bliss, but I’m also a possessive, jealous man and would hate sharing her attention. I just hate this is a hurt I can’t take away. With or without kids, she is still Talia.

She is my mate, my intended, and I wish I could give her everything she wants.

Even if she won’t be mine.

“The right man will not only understand but love you for it,” I tell her, even as the words feel like razors.

“You think? I’ve never told a partner. I was too scared to because despite the fact they all say it’s fine at the beginning, they eventually want a family, a perfect family and wife, and I can’t be that.”

“Then they are fools,” I snarl. “There would be nothing more fulfilling than having you and your love. Kids or no kids, they would be the luckiest man in the world. Children are incredible, the hope for the future, but there are many other ways to become a mother or not at all if that’s what you want. Some things are not meant to be, and that’s okay, it doesn’t affect who you are. You’re a scientist, Talia, and an incredible woman. I have no doubt that if you put your mind to it, you will find a life that will make you unbelievably happy, and you deserve that.”

“And what about you?” she queries, searching my gaze.

“What about me?” I ask, perplexed.

“Don’t you deserve to be happy? I see you here, surrounded but still alone. Are you happy, Cato?”

I swallow as my heart thrums with the truth—the truth this one little human sees right into the core of.

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