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"I hope neither of us is chosen by him. That is not a fate that I would hope on anyone."
She falls quiet at this. I get the sense that she's unsure about my words. That she wants to believe the rumors are wrong and that the Grey Prince won't just use and then kill the woman he chooses. Part of me is curious about how it is she came to be here. Did her father hand her over to the wolves, or was she caught by the wolves like most of us? The thought that anyone would turn their backs on Lyra turns my stomach.
"Do you want to be chosen?"
She's quiet for so long that I don't think she'll answer. Then, "I'm not sure. Honestly, I never really thought about it until now. I'm not sure if I can survive what would happen if he were to not chose me. But also, I don't want to die."
The sorrow in her words has me nearly promising her that I'll take care of her. That I'll ensure she doesn't die. But I don't. I know that I can't promise her safety any more than I can promise my own. Today, I was a fool. I had the chance to flee from here, but I didn't. I wasted my moment of freedom on creeping about the castle.
Thoughts of the woman flood my mind. That could be any one of the women in this room, including Lyra. Every single woman here is at risk of that being her future. With a sigh, I close my eyes as I let thoughts of my own freedom vanish. There has to be something I can do to ensure this is the last Choosing. That no more women are ended because of the wolves. Then, I can go about setting myself free from this place. Leaving now would only put guilt on my shoulders. It would mean Lyra would face the coming days alone as we wait to see which of us is unlucky enough to be Chosen.
Opening my eyes in the morning, I have a plan. I know I should leave. Make the escape I was so desperate for. Before they realize that I'm not supposed to be here and punish me for their mistake. But I can't. Not when I glance at Lyra. She deserves the chance at life, not to just die while trying to carry a wolf heir.
"You look perky this morning," Lyra comments.
I meet her eyes. "I finally accepted my fate, I guess. I have a plan. To make the Choosing a little better."
She frowns at this, but as I explain my plan, she doesn't try to talk me out of it. While she stays quiet, I see the way her shoulders relax. She might not admit it but having some knowledge about the world we've been pulled into appeals to her. It's such a basic idea, and yet I'm not sure any of the women here have been given something as simple as that.
"You won't get caught again?" she asks after a moment.
"No," I assure her. "That was a fluke. I'll be more aware of my surroundings this time. I won't let another guard see me, let alone drag me back here until I'm ready."
"Just, be careful. Don't let them get you, Rose."
"I won't. I promise."
Her worry for me is strange. I've never had anyone worried over my well-being. It only adds to my purpose. If she's willing to waste her worry on me, then I can return the favor while offering her some knowledge. I know I won't be able to assure her that if she's Chosen, her life will be better. But I can answer more of her unasked questions and help her have a better picture of the castle in her mind. It might come in handy someday.
Like yesterday, I slip from the window after our breakfast plates are collected, and we're left to stew in boredom. The others settle into their groups as I shift the glass pane and move onto the ledge. I force my eye to remain off the ground below. Dropping into the next room, I move toward the servant's corridor.
Unlike the last time I was here, I move with more purpose. I will keep my promise to Lyra and not get caught this time. My dreams were haunted with the woman's screams from yesterday. My blood runs cold as I realize that could easily be any of the women in the hall. It could be Lyra or me in there.
Following the narrow corridor, I find myself in the servant's part of the castle. With quick feet, I dash into the large laundry room. The humidity pushes at me, but I ignore it as I pull a simple maid's dress from the drying line. Finding a closet, I change. I'm hoping that it'll be enough of a disguise to move more freely about the castle.
Stepping into the halls, I keep my head down as I move. They're less empty here, but I'm still surprised by how few people I come across. I expected there to be more maids hurrying about or those of the prince's court lounging about the empty sitting rooms I pass. But the place is nearly a ghost town. It's unsettling as I turn a corner.
"…is that understood?"
My heart races as I turn and slip into the shadows. Before me is the Grey Prince. I have an unnatural knack for running into him, it seems. On their knees before him are two younger wolves, their finery showing them to be members of court. A flash of silver catches my eye as I peer around the corner. He slices their faces before turning and leaving them whimpering on the floor. Once his footsteps have faded, a new pair take their place.
A young wolf approaches the other two. I'm surprised as I watch him crouch before them, offering them a bright silver handkerchief to press to their wounds. He whispers soft words to them as they pull themselves together. It's such a stark difference from the Grey Prince that I'm almost convinced that I imagine it.
I stay pressed in the shadows until they leave. Then I move, putting distance between where the Grey Prince headed and myself. I knew the prince was cruel, but I'm surprised that he would act like that to his own court. It makes me more determined to learn as much as I can so that I have the upper hand. Something in my gut tells me that I'll want that here. That I can't let the wolves get the better of me, or else I'll never return to my previous life.
Do you want to return?
The question bubbles up out of nowhere, startling me. I can't quite answer it. As much as I wish I wasn't a prisoner here, I'm not exactly suffering. Unlike back in the city, I have plenty of food to fill my stomach and a soft pillow to lie my head upon. I don't want to stay with the wolves. That would be a sure way to get myself killed. But I also don't want to go back to the life I had in the city. Now that I'm away from it, perhaps I can forge a different future for myself.
Slipping back to the laundry room, I grab my old dress and head back to the hall. Knowing that the Grey Prince is on the prowl is enough to realize that today is not a good time to be slipping about. I've already witnessed enough of his cruelty to know I will do everything to keep our paths from crossing.
As I stash the maid's dress for tomorrow, I can't help thinking about the kindness I did witness. Perhaps there are those here that aren't in favor of the Grey Prince or how he rules. These are the individuals that I want to seek out. They'll be the ones most likely to become an ally, should I ever need one.
I join the other women, ignoring their curious stares or the way Lyra stares at me. Today was just the beginning. I'm not sure how long they plan on holding us here, but I will use every moment to learn as much as I can. I'm sure that I can find others whose kindness goes against the cruelty of the Grey Prince.
"You weren't caught," Lyra whispers that night.
"I told you I wouldn't be."
