AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It’s a squeak. The word slips out, but I couldn’t keep it back. It was impossible. There’s promise written in every line of his face, a promise that reminds me of the fierce Duke who reached past the silver bars, burning his human arm raw just to stroke my fur, reminding me that he was there—and that he would do anything to bring me home again.
My cabin is behind me. Somehow, Duke is closer than we’ve been in months. My heart is racing, my wolf up and keening as she recognizes something in his golden gaze that my human half just can’t understand.
And then he murmurs, “You’re important to me.”
I blink. My lips part, but I don’t have any idea what to say to that.
Later on, I still won’t be sure if the emotions of the moment made me read more into his intentions than were truly there. His eyes drop from mine down to my lips, his chin jerking forward. I get the sudden feeling that he’s about to kiss me, and I freeze like a deer in front of a predatory shifter.
Maybe he was. Then again, maybe he finally noticed how close we were all of a sudden and he was about to back away. I’ll never know because, like that very same deer confronted with a hungry wolf, I choose to flee.
Duke doesn’t chase. When I take a few hurried steps back, then bolt for my door, he stays exactly where I left him.
About ten feet separate us. As I try to slow my racing heart, I lift up a hand. “Good night.”
He does the same. “Sweet dreams.”
Right now, I’d rather not have any at all.
With a quick wave, I let myself into my cabin. And though I can still sense his bold, comforting aura just outside of my territory, I turn the lock on the door and let out the breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding.
CHAPTER4
LOCKS
The locks should’ve been my first clue that I’m not okay.
We don’t lock our cabins in Accalia. There’s no reason to. You should be able to trust your packmates or the whole idea of living in a shifter community, sharing goods and wealth, providing for the next generation of pups… it’s bullshit. Shifters are hard-wired to live together and support each other. Those that aren’t either choose to be a lone wolf or go feral.
And then there are the bad seeds like Shane Loup. A beta who wanted nothing more than to be an alpha, he acted the role of the perfect packmate all while working behind our backs. Worse, Ihelpedhim.
I want to think I’m not like him. Hurting my pack was never part of my plan. I honestly believed that, as Ryker’s mate, I’d make it better. We didn’t need an outsider she-wolf coming in to join with him, especially when I believed she was an omega. Having a rare female alpha take the top spot would be a coup for any shifter pack, but she came with baggage. The Wicked Wolf wanted her, and so did Shane. If I got Ryker out of the deal, I didn’t care—so long as Mountainside was safe.
But it wasn’t. At least, not for me. Because of everything I’ve done, I put a target on my back. It might be gone now, but the illusion of safety that hung over my cabin, the trees, and the mountains I’ve lived on my whole life… it’s gone, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back.
Logically, I know that the locks won’t do shit. A shifter’s brute strength would snap the doorknob right off if they really wanted to get to me. Still, for the same reason I keep my windows closed, I lock the doors behind me anytime I return to my cabin. It’s something small that makes me feel better, and anyone with good intentions would respect my need for security these days.
I just wish I could go back to the way I used to be. Carefree and flippant, a quick tongue and a satisfied smile… that’s the old Trish. The new Trish takes a deep breath before checking the door one final time, then retreating to the kitchen for a small snack to settle her nervous stomach.
Maybe Duke’s right. In the first few weeks after I returned from California, I saw Dahlia every couple of days. Both my Alpha and my parents insisted on it, and I was so screwed up that I snarled at them to leave me alone. I was like a wounded animal backed into a corner, even in my skin, and I almost attempted to challenge the three shifters who had any authority over me and my wolf.
Luckily, they didn’t take me up on it. My parents never would, no matter how much I snapped my fangs at them, and Ryker… he’s a good male, and a better Alpha. He arrived in the Wolf District shortly before the whole Western Pack imploded, so he was there to see what the quicksilver sedative and the silver cell did to me. Duke, too. I’ll never forget how he actually stood between me and Ryker, daring to meet our Alpha’s eyes, warning him that he wouldn’t be ordered to stand down until I gave the command for him to.
That’s how I ended up riding in the backseat of the rented car with Duke while Gem drove and Ryker sat shotgun. Halfway home, I finally felt secure enough to shift back. Forever the gentleman, Duke immediately closed his eyes. Gem barked at Ryker to do the same, which I get. Nudity isn’t a big deal in a pack, but I had made a move on her male before. I couldn’t expect her to forget that. As for Duke… he’s just a good guy. Of course he wouldn’t peek, even if it didn’t mean anything to him.
He did, however, offer me a shift dress he grabbed with him before we left the Wolf District. Simpler than the sundresses I used to wear, it covered me up until we made our way back home.
I thought that would be the last time he took care of me. Nope. Seven months later, he still is. I don’t know how to tell him that, while Dahlia’s wolf has soothed some of the jagged edges inside of me, it’s a delta who’s done the most work putting me back together.
So maybe I should visit her again. It’s been a couple of weeks since I have, but when Duke’s wolf does even more to stop the nightmares and the bad memories and the countless what-ifs from racing through my mind… I’d rather rely on him.
It isn’t fair. I know that. I’m putting too much pressure on a male who I’d talked to maybe twice before he saved me from the lowest point in my life. The way I see it, though, he doesn’t have to. He says it’s his job. He’s a protector for the Mountainside Pack.
And, well, I’m a packmate, aren’t I?
It’s a flimsy justification at best. I don’t care. For as long as he wants to be my shadow, I’ll let him. It’s the closest I’ve ever had to anyone being mine.
If only he was for real.
