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“Emerson,” Rayne growls.
“I’m just trying to plan ahead. I don’t know how long this threat is going to go on for, and you can’t keep the three of us locked up here forever, even if you want to, it’s just not practical. I have to make sure there’s someone that can fill a void I leave if that’s what happens.” I try to choose my words carefully. The other thing I’ve learned is that Rayne has a very short temper when it comes to the people he cares about being hurt, and lucky for me, I’m one of those people.
“I will keep you here for as long as it takes to neutralize the threat. There is no way that motherfucker isevergetting his hands on you. You can stop succession planning for the Center because nothing is going to happen to you, I’ll make sure of it. There’s only one time you will ever have to be away for an extended amount of time and you can probably just work from home over that period.”
“And what period might that be?” I raise a questioning brow.
“When we have kids.”
I stare at him blankly for long moments. We’ve been in a relationship for ten days, and that’s including the days I was in denial. It’s about three years too early to be having this conversation. “Who says I want kids?” I cross my arms across my chest defiantly. The way my heart stutters every time he says something about the long-term worries me. I shouldn’t want to be with him at all, let alone for the rest of my life. And yet, every time he says these things, my insides melt at the idea.
“You want kids,” he says confidently.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t. After the mother I had, what makes you think I would want to risk doing that to my own child?” I do want kids. I don’t even know why I’m arguing with him seeing as all I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember is to get married and have a family. Perhaps it’s that having a child with Rayne would mean they were always in danger, always looking over their shoulder because of who their family is. Or maybe it’s because it’s way too soon to be having this discussion at all.
His brows furrow together as if he’s trying to work out if I’m serious or not. He doesn’t seem angry, just thoughtful as we stare at one another. “Okay.”
“Okay?” I ask.
“If you don’t want kids, we won’t have kids. As long as I have you, I have everything I could ever want.”
My mouth drops open in surprise. The idea that someone who was set on the idea of children a few minutes ago can so easily let go of that paternal need just because I said I didn’t want them only serves to make my heart soar.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Rayne leans back into his seat.
“Oh?”
“You said Laurence was accepted into Brown?” he asks and I nod my confirmation. “What’s he studying?”
“He’s hoping to major in engineering. That kid is too smart for his own good. A few years ago, he asked for help with his homework and it went well over my head.” I laugh. “Why’s that?”
“Wynter has been talking about maybe doing internships, and because Frost Industries is looking to further our reach into the tech industry, I was thinking we could recommend him for the first one. It would be a great opportunity for him, look good on the resume, and if after he was finished studying he wanted to continue with Frost, we could hold a place for him.”
“No,” I say too quickly and flinch at the harshness in my own tone. I didn’t mean for it to be so abrupt, but the idea of any of the kids working for the Saint James family makes me sick to my stomach. “What I mean to say is that I would prefer if we kept the kids out of the business.” There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?
Rayne’s face is stony as he glares across the desk at me. “I think I can read between the lines on that one. You don’t want the kids getting mixed up with criminals. I get it.” He stands abruptly from the seat, sending it toppling over. “Most of Frost is legitimate these days, Emerson. And knowing how much those kids mean to you means I would never think to involve them in the less savory parts, but obviously the idea of my family disgusts you.” He storms toward the door.
“Rayne,” I call out.
“You don’t seem to have an issue with the fact I’m a criminal when I’m balls deep inside you every night. I’m going to meet Storm. Don’t wait up.” And before I can even think to chase after him, I hear the door to the penthouse slam shut.
A silent tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly swipe it away. Will I ever be able to accept the life Rayne leads when he leaves this apartment every morning? Will I be able to sleep each night beside a man who had likely killed someone throughout the waking hours?
I close my eyes tight and let out a ragged breath, realizing the answers to those questions lay in my feelings for Rayne.
I love him.
The realization hits me like a ton of bricks, stealing the air from my lungs as the unfamiliar emotion ravages my body.
I reach for my phone perched on the edge of the desk and dial his number, but it goes straight to voice mail. He doesn’t want to hear from me. He needs some time to cool down, and I have to respect that. Even though all I want to hear his voice tell me everything is okay.
38
Rayne
That fucking woman has me tied up in knots. I’ve never given a fuck about what people think of me or what I do for a living, but the way Emerson so adamantly rejected my idea tohelpone of the kids from the Center eats away at me with each mile I put between us.
I shouldn’t have bit back like that. It wasn’t right of me to throw our sex life back in her face like that, but the idea that she finds me so repulsive made me see red so dark it’s blinding. By the time I reach Storm’s office in the Frost Industries building, I’ve calmed down enough I don’t feel like shooting every motherfucker who so much as glances in my direction in the face.
