AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Dr. Wright left after a reminder to watch for spotting, and a promise that they would all talk after the ultrasound. It was a scary, but exciting proposition, the thought of actually seeing the baby. He could only imagine how he would feel then. Everything that had just become so real would be even more so.
Walking down the hospital hall, riding on the elevator, through the lobby and back outside into the cold, gray December day, Jacob could hear that peculiar whooshing in his head. He and Anna and the baby were in the most precarious of situations, and he was determined to hold on to it with both hands. That wasn’t at all the way he’d expected he would feel after today, but the heartbeat had changed everything.
Fifteen
“Are you doing okay over there?” Jacob asked as the limo sped along Lexington Avenue to Anna’s apartment.
Anna wasn’t okay. She wanted to be okay, but her mind kept dwelling on the medical issues. She looked out the window, entranced by the city passing her by, the people bustling along the sidewalks, in a rush that never ended. Had any of them received life-or-death news today? Probably. She wasn’t so foolish to think she was the only person with problems.
“Anna.” Jacob placed his hand on her shoulder. “Talk to me. It’s okay if you’re upset after the appointment. It was a lot to take in. I understand.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, trying not to fixate on his touch, which called to her, even through her winter coat. Being with him brought back a lot of wonderful feelings, but something tempered it. Could she count on him? For real? She turned back to him, fighting the tears that welled at the corners of her eyes. “Do you, Jacob? Do you really get it? Because our baby is inside me and you said yourself that you’d never planned on becoming a dad.”
He nodded eagerly. “And I feel like a fool for even thinking it. I’m telling you, the second we heard the baby’s heartbeat, everything changed. I get it. I do.”
She sat back in the seat, picking at a spot on the leg of her pants. It was hard to look him in the eye—he was so upbeat and eager right now, but was that just the rush of the appointment? Would it wear off? She didn’t have the luxury of worrying whether he would be there for her and the baby. “It felt different then for me, too. Except in some ways, it just made me more scared. I’m going to be crushed if we lose this baby. Absolutely crushed. And every minute that goes by with this child growing inside of me, I’m going to change. I’m going to become more attached.”
“Come here,” he said, pulling her into his embrace. He rubbed her back as her head settled on his shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
Part of her wanted to be able to accept everything he’d said at face value, the way a child does when they’re worried about monsters under the bed. He rubbed her back and anger bubbled inside her because she loved being like this with him. She wanted things back to the way they’d been before—before the world came crashing down, before he’d betrayed her, except this time, with the baby. Could she find a way to forgive him?
She wanted to let the bad things go, but one thing wouldn’t stop nagging at her. If he had truly wanted her back after the breakup, why didn’t he reach out? Why didn’t he fight for her? It had taken the pregnancy announcement to bring him back into her life, but that didn’t mean he actually wanted to stay. What would happen if she lost the baby? Would he walk away? Would the issues that came along with being with her be more than he wanted to deal with? “Don’t promise that everything will be okay. No amount of money or planning or crossing our fingers is going to make everything fine. We have to wait and see what happens and that’s going to kill me. It’s going to be so hard.”
“You have excellent medical care. You’re in the best possible hands.”
“Thanks a lot for raking my doctor over the coals. What in the hell were you thinking?” She pushed away from him and shook her head.
“I want the best for you and for the baby. You can’t fault me for that. Someone has to ask the hard questions.”
“I didn’t pick a random doctor off the internet, you know. I swear. Sometimes you and Adam are so alike it’s ridiculous. Neither one of you trusts me to do what’s right.”
“That’s not true. I trust you implicitly, and I’m sure your brother trusts you, too. He’s just gone through a particularly misguided phase since your father passed away.”
