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Chapter 1
TALLULAH
Thewoodsstretcharoundme as far as I can see.
I'm terrified, my heart pounding in my chest and reminding me just how mortal I am every second I spend in the woods. I'm still naked, running around like a lost doe, trying to find my way out of this place. The shadowy fingers of the forest extend towards me, inviting me into their dark embrace.
It would be so easy to keep running, if only I weren't so tired. So damn tired of trying to search for my freedom, trying to get free of Xavier's cruel grasp over me. I could keep running as far as I can, and as long as I can, even though my lungs threaten to give out by the time twenty minutes are up.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid he's going to find me and drag me back to his lair where he'll do whatever cruel things he has planned for me, excruciatingly slowly, just to torture me further.
I don't know whether or not I'm imagining the footsteps falling into step behind me. Maybe it's all a dream. Maybe it's all an illusion that Xavier gave me, and I'm still stuck in solitary confinement in that prison cell where I nearly lost my mind. I don't know whether this is all some figment of my imagination, designed to make me feel even more trapped than I am. I keep imagining Xavier calling out after me. My name, my nickname, every name under the sun to get me to crawl back to him like I wanted to do from the first second he came back into my life. There is no denying the feelings I have for my guardian anymore, as hard as I try to fight them.
All my emotions are back in full force now, reminding me I've always been in love with him. And that is a stark and terrible realization because it's the last thing I want. I don't want to be submissive to a man who has treated me so poorly. A man who has ruined my family and has been making my parents lives hell for decades.
I need to escape one last time to fulfill my duty to my family. After all, when I was born, Xavier was promised to be given ownership of me once I turned eighteen, and I'm that age now. A ripe age for taking.
I stumble to a stop in front of a large tree. My heart is pounding and I feel bile rising in my throat. I don't know if it's because I ran too fast or because of the panic that's overwhelmingly filling my body, to the point of escaping through gasps and groans that rip themselves from my lips as I lean against the thick tree trunk of the tree and try to catch my breath. I'mbeyondlost. Now I have no idea where we came from, or which direction I'm supposed to be running away from.
I'm also hungry. Those five meals that I declined in Xavier's private prison cell are really coming out to haunt me. I remember the taste of food in my mouth, craving even that small slice of buttered bread.
My mouth salivates at the thought. I'm thirsty too, longing for a simple drink of water. A tall glass of something cold and fizzy. But I know it's not going to come anytime soon. The fear gets worse from minute to minute. And as those turn into hours, I realize I've never been more alone. Now that Xavier has given up on me, I truly have nobody.
It's too dangerous for me to seek out my parents because Xavier could find them through me and hurt them just for their involvement in my relationship with them.
My mind keeps circling around the men in my life who've shaped me into the person I am today.
First I think of Xavier, of course. My dark protector, the man who stood by my side and promised to guide me through life and give me every opportunity I've ever dreamed of. I betrayed him in the worst possible way and deep down I know I have this punishment coming. After all, I don't deserve his love. Not after I tried to kill him.
And then there's my father. He's a dark figure himself, and he's the one who trained me to be an assassin so I could finally plunge the knife into Xavier's heart like he never could. I don't know if I'm ready to forgive him for training me to be this person. I don't want tobethis person.
Of course, I can't forget about Xander, Xavier's cruel brother.
Xavier told me those death threats I was receiving came from his brother, and I have no doubt that he's just as cruel as Xavier is. It makes me wonder what he's capable of. Being alone out here isn't just dangerous because Xavier could recapture me and kill me. It's also dangerous because Xander could be out there waiting for my next move, waiting to capture me and break my wings so I'll never fly again.
I stumble through the undergrowth of the forest, the debris on the ground digging into my tender skin. It cuts me up and leaves deep welds in its wake. But I pay it no mind. The pain is just an afterthought. Now, I'm too busy trying to get out of here before it's too late.
After what seems like ages, I finally make it to a road. I'm so delighted when I see the clearing that shows the highway speeding past me, that I nearly start sobbing. But I forget that I'm naked, that I could be an easy target for any of the men in these cars driving down the road. I force myself to stay in the shadows of the forest glancing at the road where speeding vehicles are racing by.
I wish I could flag one of them down for help, but they're going too fast for me to discern who's inside, which means I won't be able to catch down someone who looks trustworthy. It'll just be sheer luck when I stop a car. Whether or not they're willing to help me will largely depend on whether I canpaythem for it. And I know full well I can't. It's too late for me to go back and demand money from Xavier. I have no idea where Phoenix is either. He helped me out of the last mess I created, but I don't think he'll be able to help me out of this one. I'm all on my own now, and I don't have a shred of clothing to cover up my naked body, leaving me an exposed and vulnerable target for anyone who comes across me.
After a few minutes, I timidly approach the road, still staying somewhat hidden in the shadows of the trees growing by the highway. I start checking out the cars, but they're moving too fast for me to see who's inside. It could be men or women and they could be an enemy or a friend.
Finally, I decide I have no choice. Even if one of these men works for Xavier, I need to shoot my shot and try to get the hell out of here.
Deep down, I still don't know why I'm running. Why I'm struggling so much to get away from Xavier, when every fiber of my body is screaming for me to go back to him, crawl to him on my knees and beg for him to take me back and forgive me for everything I've done to him.
I take a deep breath and start signaling to cars that I need help, staying somewhat hidden behind the tree trunk and hoping someone will stop. But the cars whizz by without so much as a glance in my direction.
At least half an hour has to go by before someone finally slows down a little. But once they see I'm naked, I realize they're going to think the worst. I see there's a young mother with a child in the vehicle, and she narrows her eyes at me and speeds off. I wonder whether I would do the same. I probably wouldn't be brave enough to help a woman in need. After all, I betrayed Ivette, after everything she did for me.
As I keep shouting and screaming, signaling her help, some of the cars slow down and some of them race by. From the ones that slow down, I can quickly discern that most of them just want to use me. They probably think I'm a girl working on a corner here, trying to get some fast cash. The thought sends cold shivers down my spine, and I wonder whether I've really fallen so far from grace that this is now what I'm doing.
The road starts clearing up and there are no more vehicles coming. Frustrated and tired, I collapse on the side of it and bury my head between my knees.
It's not even two minutes later that I hear tires crunching on gravel as someone pulls off the highway and stops next to me. My eyes fearfully lift up, but I'm not fast enough. All I remember is a grin, a dark smile that reminds me of one man I've never wanted to disappoint again in my life. Then I'm suddenly knocked out, a cloth of some sort pressed against my mouth.
It's giving off a rancid smell and I know it's going to put me under. It takes less than a second for me to pass out, pulled back into the world of nightmares where Xavier is still hunting me just like he was in the forest before.
