Page 118 of For Now, Not Forever


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I nod. “Yep.”

“So…why aren’t you?”

“I had to take care of something.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, glancing out at the field, then back at me. “And what are you taking care of?”

“Let’s go somewhere else. Are you hungry, or did you already eat?”

Natalie reaches out and grabs my arm. “Liam. What the hell is going on? Just tell me what’s going on and stop being weird about it.”

“Just while we’re standing here?”

She glances around. “Why not? You think I’m going to freak out about it?”

I shove my hands in my pockets. “I don’t know how you’re going to react. That’s the problem.”

“Liam. Seriously. Just tell me, whatever it is.”

I blow a long breath out. “What if I want forever?”

Not exactly what I planned to say. I was going to ease into it. Ask her how she’s been. Test out her mood, see if she mentioned another guy.

But, yeah.

There it is.

Cards on the table.

Natalie stares at me, her face an expression of shock. Whatever reason she thought I was here, it didn’t involve that word.

Forever has weight. Meaning. Substance.

It’s not what you toss out when you’re considering committing to something. It’s the seven letters you use when you’re trying to hold on tightly. There’s an inherent permanence, an association I’m not sure either of us ever imagined might exist between me and her.

Since it doesn’t seem like she’s going to respond, I keep talking. “You said we were for now, not forever. And I get why you said it, I do. But as soon as you did, I wanted to argue. We’re complicated, and I get that. You’re right—I am getting shit from my friends. But we went into this with an expiration date, and I don’t want there to be one. Maybe you’ve already met someone else. Maybeyoumeant for now, and you never wanted us to be more. But it’s been driving me insane, not knowing. So…that’s why I’m here. Because I want to date you, and for people to know that we’re dating. For now to not be over.”

Her hand falls from my arm. I swallow as she looks away, fiddling with her hair. “Liam, I—”

My heart free falls out of my chest and lands on the pavement with asmack. But my expression doesn’t betray a single twitch. “It’s fine, Natalie. You don’t have to explain.”

I’m already mapping out the rest of this interaction in my mind. An awkward goodbye, followed by a long drive back to Arlington. Watching Maeve struggle between relief and pity when I tell her what happened.

“It’s just, I don’t—”

“Seriously. You don’t have to say anything. I’ll just go.”

Natalie rolls her eyes. “If you’d let me get a full sentence out, I’d tell you that I am hungry, and we should go to this pizza place down the street.”

All of a sudden, my heart is back in my chest. I stare at her, pulse pounding. “Yeah?”

Natalie nods. Smiles. “Yeah.”

Then she steps forward and kisses me.

Her touch hits me like an electrical shock, sparking my blood and skittering up my spine. I pull her closer, as close as I can, kissing her back. It’s a release, a relief, letting the feelings that have been bottled inside loose after weeks of not seeing or talking to her. It’s funny how people can imbed themselves in your life in ways you never ever notice until they’re gone. How the stolen moments we spent together turned into so much more.

My body doesn’t really care we’re standing out in public. I react to her touch like we’re completely alone, kissing her like she’s oxygen and water and everything vital. Like I can live off this alone.

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