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I give him one last smile before I leave.
I take the long way home from Chris’s, stopping atDaily Grindin Fayetteville for a fruit smoothie. It’s close to empty inside; I don’t have to wait very long.
Jess texts me a video right as my drink arrives. I push play as soon as I’m outside, smiling as I watch Chris attempting to backflip off the diving board and landing more of a belly flop.
“Hey.”
I freeze. In the week I’ve been back in Alleghany, it’s occurred to me this is probably the only place I could encounter Liam. But that possibility is very different from actually seeing him.
I slip my phone in my pocket and look up. “Hi.”
Liam looks at ease. He’s wearing a pair of red board shorts and a gray t-shirt withGUARDwritten on it in white block letters. His hands are tucked in his pockets.
I followed him the whole way back from the Cape. Up until the Glenmont exit, one before the Alleghany one.
I haven’t seen him since. Didn’t expect to see him before we both went back to school.
Or possiblyever.
If Maeve and Wes get married, I guess we’d probably both be invited to the wedding. But any hypothetical encounter was supposed to take place far into the future. Long enough for any awkwardness or familiarity to dissipate. So I could look at him and not hearYou’re the only one with something to compare it toecho in my head, the way it is right now.
“At least one of us was looking where we were going this time.”
I smile in response.
“How—how are you?”
I play with my straw. “Okay. My dad is in town.” I glance around, making sure we’re still alone. We are. “It’s better when he’s around. She’s better. But when he leaves—and he always does—it’s worse. So…not looking forward to that.”
Liam nods slowly. “If you ever need to vent, well, I’m a decent listener.”
The offer means a lot, but I don’t say that. I’m terrible at accepting or acknowledging help. Especially if it’s someone whose opinion matters to me. “Not sure your buddies would approve.”
He holds my gaze. “I wouldn’t be asking for their permission.”
I swallow. “Same goes for you. If you want to talk about football, your dad…” I almost add girl advice but don’t.
I’ve never been jealous over a guy. With Wes, I was possessive. We were each other’s natural counterparts, and I enjoyed the status that ensured. And yeah, I liked that he hooked up with me more than any other girl. It—he—was good for my ego. But that’s all it was. I liked how an association with him benefitted me.
Liam with another girl? It wouldn’t affect anyone’s perception of me at all.
But there’s a dark coil in my stomach at the thought. The same annoyance that appeared whenever I saw him talking with Audrey. It’s stronger now. More consuming. That was before we slept together. Before I knew I’m the only girl Liam haseverslept with.
I know most guys don’t assign sex the same meaning many girls do. But it still feels like it holds some importance—the fact that he chose to take that step with me. If I hadn’t been so shocked when he told me, I would have asked. And it feels too awkward to bring up now, on a sidewalk along a parking lot between a coffee shop and aMcDonald’s.
Liam smiles. It’s the shift in expression that makes me realize I’ve been standing here, staring at him, for a lot longer than is generally considered to be socially acceptable.
“Talking would be easier to do if I had your number,” he tells me.
His grin fades to a small upturn of his lips as he stands and waits for me to reply.
I—for some reason I don’t analyze—pull the crumpled receipt from my smoothie and a pen out of the tote bag holding my wallet and towel along with a random assortment of stuff I need to clean out. I should just ask for his phone and type it in. But part of me wants him to have to choose to add my number to his phone. To know he meant it.
And, if he never contacts me, I can tell myself he lost the slip of paper.
I scribble my number on the scrap of paper and hold it out to him. Our fingers brush as he takes it from me, sending shivers up my spine despite the summer heat.
“Bye, Liam,” I say.
