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I’m at home gettingready for another art class but I can’t stop thinking about work, or more specifically, one particular English professor. I haven’t seen Jack for a few days, ever since our lastconversation. I knew it was a risk speaking to Jack—Professor Stanhope—in that way.Calm down... I’m fucking with you. I shouldn’t have said it. I don’t even know him, not really. But because he teases me occasionally, I’d wanted to have my fun, too, and in the heat of the moment, I’d wanted to toy with him, just to see his response. Well, it had definitely surprised him. Although, looking back, it wasn’t just shock I’d seen upon his face. For the briefest of moments, I swear I’d seen something else there, something deeper, darker. But then, like a flash, it was gone and all I could do was wonder if my eyes had played tricks on me.
Whether it was my imagination or not, that millisecond of an expression had floored me, had turned my insides into a soft, wobbly mess—it turned me on. And then he’d started his full onslaught, leaning down so close I could feel the heat of his body, the smell of his cologne. If that microexpression had just turned me to jelly, imagine what the physical proximity of his large, masculine frame would do to me.
I couldn’t read too much into it. He was a tease. I was a tease. We were bored at work, and it was just something fun—a distraction.
Still, I’d enjoyed it and not just the flirting but the actual intellectual conversation as well. It’s not often I get to talk about more than the weather or the latest gossip on telly. Rather, I should say, it’s not often anyone speaks to me about anything other than the mundane. Everyone sees me as this brainless servant. No one knows I had a life before I joined the department, with hopes and dreams of escaping this drudgery—no one asks. The truth is, it feels so good to be seen and heard and I know, had always known, that Jack isn’t like the rest of them.
I put thoughts of him out of my head and focus on getting ready for my art class. I love how I think of it asmyart class, as though I’m the one making the art. Who knows, maybe, in a way, I am. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be on the other side, though. To be the one painting or drawing. The one who is so inspired, rather than the object of inspiration. Then again, maybe they’re not inspired—who knows why any one of them show up.
I go through my routine of getting ready for the art session, as I always do. The familiarity of it prevents me from getting overly anxious, but it also excites me. Because I know what’s coming and I have to wait for it. There’s also the added thrill this time of the blindfold, and I don’t know why I like it, but I do.
Karinna’s instructions had been very clear—I was to wait for her in the adjoining room where she would affix the blindfold and walk me into the usual room. I have no idea what the purpose of this unusual set up is but neither do I care. If I didn’t like any of this, I would just stop.
I’ve driven back to Castle Eden University and I’m now waiting patiently in the adjoining room, long bathrobe tied around my waist. Wig is in place but no sunglasses or shoes today. It will just be me, the wig, and a blindfold.
Karinna pokes her head through the door that leads out into the hallway. ‘Can I come in?’
‘Of course.’ I’m already waiting for her.
‘So, I’m just double-checking that you’re okay with today’s arrangement?’ she asks.
‘Yes.’
‘Great. I’m going to tie this around your eyes and it’s quite large so you won’t be able to see anything, but I will hold your arm and lead you through.’ She ties a long, black silk tie around my eyes and takes a moment to adjust it so that I really can’t see anything.
‘Everyone has already arrived and they’re just setting up. No new faces this week so it’s the same crowd as last time. Ready?’
As I’ll ever be. ‘Yes.’
Karinna slowly walks me through the adjoining door and to an area which I can only assume is the spot I usually occupy. I take off the robe and sit down, with Karinna’s help. I can feel a warm, fleecy blanket against my bottom and a soft cushion has been placed for me to lay upon. I stretch out along my left side and make myself comfortable. I gently adjust the long hair of the wig around my shoulders. I settle into this position and relax because it’s going to be a long session sitting here in a darkness of my own making.
Chapter 13
Jack
Here I am again. Iam decidedly calmer than I was the first time around. I’ve also arrived a bit earlier and I pick an easel just off centre-left. It looks like a good spot, but I won’t know until the model comes out.
