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Chapter 18
Jack
Iloved how she puton the sunglasses, as if I wouldn’t recognise her with them on—that was cute. Although one thing I was fast learning,cuteisn’t exactly a word that describes Leyna.
I think back to before the fun and games began, back to when she was just Leyna who worked in the office, and I was just another professor in the English Department. I thought she was sweet and innocent, naïve even!
With the excitement of the art class and pretending that Leyna isn’t Leyna, I find myself forgetting I have a normal job to go to the next day. Although the wordnormaldoesn’t quite cut it in the academic setting.
I have to see one of my colleagues today. She’s planning the next poetry evening for the undergraduate students and I’ve agreed to help out. In fact, normally I’m the one who organises the poetry evenings for the students. Somehow, years ago, I got saddled with the job and I’ve been doing it ever since. Professor Charis Warren has been a part of the department for several years but has never led one of these poetry evenings, even though it’s more her field than it is mine. In smaller departments, like ours, you often get tasks you never imagined you’d be doing. But it’s also typical of this place—if you do a job well, you do it for life. Do a job poorly and you never get asked to do it again. Unfortunately, some of my colleagues have figured out this system and repeatedly do a piss-poor job so they’re never asked to take on the extra admin duties again.
This is one job that I’m more than happy to hand the torch over to someone else.
Charis is sitting at her computer when I knock on her door.
‘Do you have a few minutes?’
‘Hi Jack. Of course, come in.’
‘I just wanted to check in with you and go over the poetry evening.’
‘I’m so glad you’ve stopped by. I wanted to run a few things by you.’
I take a seat in the chair opposite her desk.
Charis continues, ‘So I’ve booked the space, sent out emails, and put up some posters to advertise. We have at least six students and a spoken word artist lined up. I’ve asked some of my students to attend and if you do the same, we should have a decent turn out.’
I nod my head. I’m polite. But in my head I’m thinking,How the fuck have you been here this long and never had to organise one of these before?‘All sounds good. Make sure that it gets paid out of the four-twenty-two account. Lorna or Leyna should be able to take care of that. We’ve still got plenty of time, but it sounds like you have everything under control.’
‘Thanks, Jack. Oh, and congratulations on that paper you had accepted recently. I read it. It was very good. On the literary forms of shame in writing, in relation to a changing discursive landscape. I enjoyed how you tied the theoretical texts to modern-day intersectional understandings of self.’
I’m taken aback. I didn’t think anyone in the department ever read anything I wrote. I’d completed my annual review, in which I have to list all of my outputs, but I never imagined anyone would actually read it for pleasure. I’m chuffed to bits. ‘Thank you very much. Yes, it’s part of a larger project I’m working on, exploring the link between shame and exposure, inhibition and embodiment. I’ve been working on this for a long time and hope to publish a book on the topic next year. But thank you, that’s kind of you to say.’
‘It’s not kind. Genuinely, Jack, it was very good. I do think we need to celebrate one another’s achievements in this place. Otherwise, it can get quite... lonely.’
‘Quite right you are. Thank you for saying that. It makes all the difference having a department and colleagues who support you. The same goes for me. If ever you need me to read anything over, I’m more than happy to do so.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Well, I’m glad to hear the poetry evening is on track. Should be a good event by the sounds of it. Sorry to cut this short but I need to head off, I have a lecture soon.’
‘No problem. See you later.’
Well, that went better than expected. I’d not interacted much with Charis Warren in the past but perhaps I was wrong not to be more collegiate, especially with newer members of staff. She’s not new, she’s been here for at least four years, possibly more.
Perhaps I should take my own advice and occasionally take a step outside of this bubble I’d fabricated around myself.
