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‘Leyna, I swear, you make me feel like I could conquer the world when I’m with you. You’re the most amazing woman I have ever met. I love you.’ I say those three words before I have time to overthink it and stop myself. I hold my breath and watch her closely.
I kiss her before she can say anything else, my mouth ravaging hers, our breaths caught up a maelstrom of passion. It is feverish and frenzied and Leyna pulls away just long enough to say, ‘I love you, too,’ and then we’re kissing again, hands frantic, roving, searching for what exactly, I’m not sure.
She loves me.
It’s all I can think about as I taste her flesh, the crook of her neck, the soft V in between her breasts. She would be mine and I would be hers. I take her nipple into my hot mouth, tugging gently and I pleasure in the soft gasps it elicits. I realise I want to give her everything her heart desires, and at this moment in time, I think I know what that might be.
I trail a path of infuriatingly slow kisses down her abdomen and Leyna makes soft, breathless noises every time I change location. Listening to her is like listening to a treasured story you already know the ending to but relishing the journey all the same. I’m on alert, listening to every exhale, every gasp as I kiss her stomach, her hips, and lower. And every sound she makes makes me shiver in anticipation. ‘Say it again.’ My voice is deep and husky. ‘Tell me you’re mine.’
Leyna’s eyes are shut and her fists are clenched tightly around the bedsheets. ‘Jack, I will always be yours,’ she ekes out, her hips raised for me, and I’m infinitely pleased at the effect my tongue is having on her. I love hearing the sweet agony in her voice, the fact she can barely speak now, so lost she is in that honeyed abyss in between pleasure and satiety.
I let her sounds guide me as I swipe my tongue deftly across her most intimate parts, learning what she likes—and what she adores.
‘Yesssss,’ her voice slithers against the darkness as she writhes against the wetness of my tongue.
I want to give her the world.
I keep the pressure steady, licking her as I would an ice cream until her body spasms and jerks repeatedly against my mouth. I give her time, let her enjoy the high and slowly I crawl back up her body to face her. I think I’m grinning like a schoolboy, though I can’t be certain. I feel this immense sense of accomplishment that I’m able to give her this sort of pleasure and, somehow, it’s different this time around. As though what we’re doing together is more intense, more meaningful.
‘I love watching you come,’ I admit. ‘That’smyguilty pleasure. I am so turned on right now.’
She whispers, ‘Tell me what to do’ and I’m immediately transported back to that first time we crossed the line in my kitchen. Isn’t that what she’d said to me,Tell me what to do. I was pretending to paint while she was pretending to model and to not care one iota. It felt like a lifetime ago and yet... I struggle to remember what life was like before Leyna suddenly walked into it. The way I looked at the world, the things I chose to do. Now, my whole world is painted with brushstrokes of Leyna. ‘You don’t have to do anything, Flower, except open yourself up to me.’
She smiles in understanding. I flip her over onto her knees and slide into her from behind thrusting myself into her over and over, groaning like a man about to lose his mind. I love looking at her from this angle, love watching as I slide myself in and out of her. I am a man abandoned to the pleasure of the soft yield of a woman’s flesh.
I curse and groan deeply as my body shudders into her depths. ‘My God, that felt amazing,’ I say between broken breaths. ‘Every time is amazing with you, Leyna. I can’t imagine a life without you.’
We lay there together for a bit, bodies slick with sweat but satisfied. I think about everything we’d been through already and everything we would go through—together—and it gave me such relief that a man like me could have a woman like Leyna by my side. Perhaps it was that I never expected to find such happiness.
Our soft breaths fill the silence as we both come back down to earth.
I ask her, ‘Do you ever worry about the precariousness of it all? That happiness is fleeting, that something could happen and everything you have or have worked for is just gone?’ I think back to my childhood, perfect in so many ways. So much love and happiness and fast forward a few years and everything got ripped apart when my stepdad got ill. I knew as well as anyone that no matter how hard you tried, sometimes happiness is stolen from you before you have a chance to realise what’s happening.
Propped up on her elbow, Leyna looks at me. ‘Jack? Is something bothering you?’
I didn’t want to burden Leyna with my thoughts, but I also wanted to be open and honest with her, something I was never able to do with anyone else. ‘I just never thought I could be this happy with someone and I suppose there’s still a lot of old me knocking around in my head who is certain it’s all going to get taken away. When my stepdad passed, I shut myself off from a lot of things. Closed myself to anything happy. It’s taken me a long time to let someone into my life again.’
‘I’m happy you’ve let me in.’
‘I know how important it is to savour these moments that give you joy.’
‘There is nothing wrong with being present, in the moment. That’s what it’s all about isn’t it? All we ever have is now. Right now. This moment. It’s why you can’t, you mustn’t, run away from happiness.’
Her words cut through to me like a hot knife through butter and I realise that’s what I’ve been doing for so long. Shutting myself off, running away. Suddenly, out of the blue, I say, ‘There’s a wine and cheese do coming up. A bunch of us go every year. It’s held at the VC’s house on campus.’
‘The vice-chancellor’s house?’ She sounds sceptical.
‘Yes. It’s beautiful. It overlooks the Botanic Gardens. You’ll have walked past it a million times. Dalton, Gerik and Dom will all be there, too. It’s nothing special, but it’s free wine and you get to get drunk in the vice-chancellor’s house.’
‘Wow, when you sell it like that!’ She eyes me, laughing. ‘But are you sure, Jack?’
‘I’m sure. I’ve never been more certain of anything. I want you by my side. I want to show the world what an amazing woman you are.’
Leyna is dead still and I worry I’ve said something wrong. Finally, she says, ‘Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that?’ Her eyes glisten.
‘Flower, no, don’t cry.’ I wipe a tear making a long slow trail down the side of her cheek.
‘I don’t cry. I don’t ever cry,’ she says through tears. ‘I’m just so happy. Ask me again. Good and proper this time. Go on.’
