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This isn’t how I pictured this moment—alone in a cottage, miles away from everyone. And all of my paintings gone.
I’m in shock.
I need to tell Jack. He was there for me through everything and suddenly I feel so ashamed for running off and not saying a word to him.What were you thinking?!You had this gorgeous, clever, supportive man and you just ran off?! The enormity of what I had done crawls into my stomach and twists itself round and round, like a sharp knife wedged in my gut.
I hadn’t even explained anything. This man who I’d spent months with, sharing all of my hopes and dreams, my deepest secrets and my innermost desires, I’d left him like a lovelorn groom at the altar.
But this was what I did—what I’d always done. I had run away from things so many times in my life that I’d lost count. Here I am, thirty-two years old and I thought I’d finally gotten over all of that. I have a shitty but stable job—that I was going to run away from—and I’m paying my way through life, dreaming big and throwing my knickers—and caution—the wind.
I have to make things right. The old Leyna disappeared a long time ago. It’s time to start a new chapter, to put away that cup of tea, and to go on as I meant to continue the rest of my life.
I ring Jack but get no answer. I call a few more times and still nothing. The cottage which, just moments ago, had felt like a refuge, now feels like a cage and I feel trapped and desperate to get out. I throw on my coat and a pair of walking boots I’d found in one of the cupboards. I grab some money and decide to head to that off-license I’d seen on the way in. And I’m going to buy myself wine and then I’m going to find somewhere that sells flowers. Lots and lots of flowers.
I fling open the door and—
I walk straight into Jack.
Chapter 45
Jack
Isee the shock andhurt all over her face and my heart shatters as though it’s been walloped with a sledgehammer.I don’t deserve you, I think. ‘Can you forgive me?’ I ask Leyna.
There are tears in her eyes now. ‘Jack, it wasn’t your fault.’
‘I feel responsible,’ I confess.
‘You didn’t hurt me!’ Then quietly Leyna says, ‘That’s not why I ran away.’ She steps aside. ‘Why don’t you come in.’
We both sit down on the sofa and she continues, ‘Jack. You opened up a whole new world to me. You changed me. Pushed me to be more of myself. I ran off because I couldn’t stand to be there any longer. It was all too much to process.’
‘I would have taken care of you,’ my voice breaks.
‘I know you would have.’ She takes my hands in hers. ‘But I needed my own space. I hope you can understand. I hope you can forgive me for just taking off like that.’
‘You haven’t done anything wrong,’ I say.
